schedule
October 9, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Ooh, very interesting. Wonder what the deal is with Emilo's powers and who's after him. And Luke seems to have a lot of issues of his own already. The story seemed to jump a bit every now and again, like how they suddenly hooked up: maybe need to expand or fill in parts. Otherwise excellent start and definitely looking forward to more!
schedule
October 5, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Wow, intriguing story! Does Emilio have special powers for electrocution? I didn't really understand that part.
And I was really confused when Luke fell off the dirt bike and twisted his ankle, he hobbled to the house and then all of a sudden, they're making out. Where did that come from? I thought they barely spoke ten words to each other? I thought that part was pretty rushed.
But besides that, it was a good chapter and I'm looking forward to reading more.
And I was really confused when Luke fell off the dirt bike and twisted his ankle, he hobbled to the house and then all of a sudden, they're making out. Where did that come from? I thought they barely spoke ten words to each other? I thought that part was pretty rushed.
But besides that, it was a good chapter and I'm looking forward to reading more.