rate_review Reviews

hi Juka.

I'm. really busy, this period... gotta make, LIFE CHANGING decisions... so yar *spazz*

pardon my spazztic review. X__X

Just what the heck is this shuusei up to? and this shinya.
i bet this shinya's gonna play a bigger role later on ya?
and tanrin, and the mole in the ranks... gaaaah. uhm, shit, i forgot this 'inner circle' people names already (has to go back and check)

but i wonder.... this whole war between the two yakuza clans. and stuff...
i wonder, is Shuusei the catalyst? after all, it was him who made that boy go send the bottle of pills back yeah?
YEAH???

okay yea... will know later.

Later Juka! *zooms away*

- nekoii

Quickie.... :P

Well well. Arn't they two an interesting pair...
I didn't expect Shuusei to be so cold. I though, upon meeting Kirin, he would... I don't know, fall in love, or smthing!
Seem's like it's the other way around for this pair. Hehehehehe XD

It's good to know that this Kumicho here cares for the well-being of random hosts. It's good to know Kirin has a heart (an odd one) but at least, he has one.
Shuusei... shuusei... Where's his heart? Locked up somewhere in a dark corner whithin his dark dark soul?

I WANNA KNOW SHUUSEI's HISTORY!!! now I wonder. IF Shuusei and Chitose met, while they were under the rule of certain hated men of thier lives...
I wonder i wonder... *sighs*

Mysterious characters. I see, since this is the second time. You like to put them in your stories eh? XD

And again I wonder about Shuusei's health. Just what is he suffering from? I hope it's not some fatal life-long disease... x__x wouldn't want that at all....

Aaaah well, we'll see yeah~ There's still alot to wait for, alot to be told.
So I'll just sit here quietly and watch more event's unfold before I jump around like crazy XD

- nekoii

Helloooo Juka~~~

Hahaha, am I back too soon ? XD

Anyway... Strangely so. I do not get much of a 'Kumicho' vibe from Tanrin.
and I'm getting this suspicious feeling from the saiko-komon...
Was he the one who betrayed Tanrin?

Also... why don't ya leave a side note at the bottom explaining the various meanings of the rankings of a Yakuza gang.
I know, personally, quite a few who don't like random Japanese words popping out. You might get flamed for it. I know I did XD
and... there were quite a number of typo's... quite a number... XD
They sorta break your flow of reading, since you gotta re-read the sentence to try an decipher what was supposed to be the word there, instead of the typo.
My advice to you is... Go get this beta'd. The 1st chapter matters! It's your main hook line and sinker! well, it's the hook!
I would volunteer to beta this, but, well, uhm, do ya trust my engriish? XD;

Anyway, I missed this on the 'Latest' page!!! D:
The summary didn't catch me D:
but now reading the summary, it makes me wonder, who's words were those... tanrin or shuusei

Looking forward to see how these two end up falling in love. Gosh. Their start is such an odd one. XD
What PMS pills?! XD Gwahahahha!!! and why's that kid Ryusuke even there? He feels younger than 16 even! XD
But all this callous killing and inflicting wounds without a care... it feels really.... creepy...
And I also really wonder.... how in the world does Shuusei cope in such a world? Where his health is weak. and where he's such a sour host...

Man... welcome to the world of the Yakuza indeed man.... *shivers* how much more hair-raising stuff's gonna happen huh? *raises eyebrow* XD hehe~

laters


- nekoii

The concept of the story is interesting. It’s very intense.

Since I have mild dyslexia, I do make quite a few mistakes on spelling, even though I read my stories over and over and over again to catch the little bitches, but some still always slip through. I think, just to spite me. Though I don’t see any spelling slip ups in your story, you shift between past tense and present. It makes it a little bumpy to read. Another thing is, lol, you use Japanese phrases or positions that I just don’t know :3 To me, the Japanese words are like blanks, they don’t tell me anything. If anything, they are a little frustrating as it makes it hard to follow what’s happening. If there was a way to write them in English instead, I think that would serve the story better. Or at least make it easier for us who aren’t all that jap-knowing to follow :3
I hope I don’t offend you by saying this. I do think the story is good. Purple-eyes seems very “unhostly” which makes him interesting, and Knife-guy sure do seem like an original, disturbed piece of work. The story also has a hard edge not so common to at least many of the fics I’ve read so far. It keeps you on your toes, wondering what’ll happen.

I hope you luck with the continuation of this story :3