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August 5, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Please update!! A very good start!
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January 18, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Please please continue!!!! I really want to know what's going to happen!!! I love this book I wish you had written more and the clif hanger was amazing!!!! Please write more....
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August 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
An interesting story so far. Looking forward to the next update.
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August 24, 2010 at 12:00 AM
This is definitely an interesting story. I would really like to read more. There was some major confusion with Devin's gender. I would suggest you place the flashback/dream in the beginning. Kind of like having Devin dream up his suppressed memories.
Mpreg doesn't sounds so bad, since you already have the setting for it. I do hope in the next chapters you reveal more about the races and plot. Looking forward to the next update~
Mpreg doesn't sounds so bad, since you already have the setting for it. I do hope in the next chapters you reveal more about the races and plot. Looking forward to the next update~
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August 23, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Vasska and Chrome's relationship amuses me. I like how you easily show their friendship. It is actually quite believable based on their interaction in the last chapter that they really are very close friends. So will both Jamie and Devin remember fully what happened near the lake or will those dreams they had over the incident be like other dreams, only showing snippets and such? I wonder if any of the Wielders know the healer that saved the two? And would Chrome and Vasska go all totally possessive and protective when they find out that their mates were actually attacked when they were very young? That would be a very welcome sight. Please keep up the updates. I LOVE UPDATES!
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August 23, 2010 at 12:00 AM
say woot?
girl,guy,girl,guy which is it.
What about the draconian and snakes?
I'd like to warn you that by pairing up two couples(draconian) is tre cliche and prone to a cheesy story.
I would rather read a solid story where the pov switches between draconian couple(devin&king) and a pair of snakes(introduce new characters).That would not only be more interesting to read(we have too much cute stories where best friends are gay and their boyfriends are oh wait for it, wait for it...friends&cousins.!Imagine that) it would also help you to create a better feel.Remember story is never about the cute romance, it's about good writting perspective.You need to create a story in which the conversations don't turn cliche, and use whatever ammo you have to say:this is the story, 2 kingdoms, snakes and draconians are getting it on because of....(insert the PLOT because plot isn't fainting, cute romance, your pairing met up not for lust but for a reason.)
Now, tell us why.In details.Make it exciting, make us wonder why, tell us what are the snakes doing like their pov in some chapters, maybe.
And while your doing your plot twist, let the romance grow, and leave smex as a desert(not neccesssary the end but don't just have them go aty it for no reason.If they're mates that doesn't mean they'll fuck.even if they attracted, I repeat that doesn't mean they'll fuck.
I would be annoyed, ppl usually don't jump on ppl they're attracted to, specially not if you're serious soulmate lala about your lover.
So keep it real. When I read, I don't like to see author rushing to the sex, also don't like to see ppl jumping on cocks just because( I quote you.."..a man with the sexy voice..")________________yeah, for no reason at all.
I odn't know if this will help your sotry.Maybe what I wrote does not fit in your concept of this story.But maybe it will help you while your doing a new story. I do like your ideas(snake&draconians) and I adore you for playing with the gender.It is unusual and funny and fresh and I wrote this in hope that you wont sink the ides with cliche writting.becasue it happens.It happend to other, it happens to me, it can happen to ypou too.
girl,guy,girl,guy which is it.
What about the draconian and snakes?
I'd like to warn you that by pairing up two couples(draconian) is tre cliche and prone to a cheesy story.
I would rather read a solid story where the pov switches between draconian couple(devin&king) and a pair of snakes(introduce new characters).That would not only be more interesting to read(we have too much cute stories where best friends are gay and their boyfriends are oh wait for it, wait for it...friends&cousins.!Imagine that) it would also help you to create a better feel.Remember story is never about the cute romance, it's about good writting perspective.You need to create a story in which the conversations don't turn cliche, and use whatever ammo you have to say:this is the story, 2 kingdoms, snakes and draconians are getting it on because of....(insert the PLOT because plot isn't fainting, cute romance, your pairing met up not for lust but for a reason.)
Now, tell us why.In details.Make it exciting, make us wonder why, tell us what are the snakes doing like their pov in some chapters, maybe.
And while your doing your plot twist, let the romance grow, and leave smex as a desert(not neccesssary the end but don't just have them go aty it for no reason.If they're mates that doesn't mean they'll fuck.even if they attracted, I repeat that doesn't mean they'll fuck.
I would be annoyed, ppl usually don't jump on ppl they're attracted to, specially not if you're serious soulmate lala about your lover.
So keep it real. When I read, I don't like to see author rushing to the sex, also don't like to see ppl jumping on cocks just because( I quote you.."..a man with the sexy voice..")________________yeah, for no reason at all.
I odn't know if this will help your sotry.Maybe what I wrote does not fit in your concept of this story.But maybe it will help you while your doing a new story. I do like your ideas(snake&draconians) and I adore you for playing with the gender.It is unusual and funny and fresh and I wrote this in hope that you wont sink the ides with cliche writting.becasue it happens.It happend to other, it happens to me, it can happen to ypou too.
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August 21, 2010 at 12:00 AM
YAY!!! Devara is actually Devin. That's wonderful. I wonder why only Devin changed gender. Was there a special purpose or reason? I can't wait to read more and find out.
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August 21, 2010 at 12:00 AM
more please.....still confused between jamie and devin who the real king's mate betwen them?
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August 20, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I definitely love this beginning. One thing confuses me though. Is Devara supposed to be male or female. The prologue ends with Devara being male but except for the last few sentences Devara is female. I really hope he/she ends up male. I don't mind either way but I just have a special preference for slash fics. Please keep up the great work.
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August 20, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Falling in love with the story .... Pleasseeee continue! <3