rate_review Reviews

Okay, first things first, I like the premise of the story, that being said I have a couple of things I disagree with...

I'm a little upset with Alec. I realize that he doesn't want to get on the new pack's bad side or get killed so he has to act like a submissive, but an alpha is always an alpha, he shouldn't submit so easily. And him referring to Brice as "my alpha" all the time is really annoying, I just want to tell him to either grow a pair or stop acting like a cowed little slave boy. The other thing is that Alec is portrayed as perfect, he can do no wrong in the pack as far as Brice is concerned. He should have SOME faults, just like Brice should. It shouldn't just be left up to one evil wolf, who before Alec (a stranger) came into the pack, was the trusted Beta (the right hand man if you will) to Brice.

I do like the story, but there are some major flaws in it. Good start of a rough draft. I think it could be better if you had someone else go over it and polish it up a bit. Get a beta that will challenge you and ask you questions about plot and character development. (Hope you don't take any of this too harshly, I was trying to be constructive).

Chapter 7 seemed rushed. Or some may say, blunt and to the point?

That was great!!! Wow he is stronger the Brice!!! Do Brice know or is he clueless??? I so can't wait for the mating!!!! I totally love them both!!! And Sajnis attac!!! that was so low!!!! How rude of him!!!! But well hope he will be punished severely!!! See you again soon!!!

I hope Sajni is punished but I don't want him killed. They're going to need every strong wolf around to war with the humans. I do hope he doesn't betray his pack simply out of petty jealousy.

Lovely story. Sajni must have really lost control of himself to disgrace himself in public like that.

woo~ forget the reviews, look at your hits! so far, your story has me baited, hooked, and tanked. i'd love to read more and update please!

woah!! this is just too awesome, I love it. Can I do fanart of your story? Brice and Alec are sooo cute

This is delicious! Can't believe I just found it... and definitely can't wait for the next chapter!
XoXo

That was great and so hot!!!! I can't wait for the fighting and mating in the next chappies!!! See you again soon!!!

I like the story; it's a good start. The plot and development are nice. However, your wording, tenses, and grammar leave much to be desired. I find it really difficult to read through. One out of every four sentences I find myself having to change something because it is awkwardly worded. Usually I have no problems with a little grammatical mishap but there is something very frustrating about your story. It might be because it has great potential to become a phenomenal story. I suggest you find someone to beta for you. Good luck.