rate_review Reviews

Ahaha...nice. Just got done with the first chapter (figured I'd try it) and I was definitely pleasantly suprised. Aside from a few /minor/ flow issues, this story really seems to have promise, and I love the characters already. Kir is so cute (love his accent, and his "dumb"-ish moments are adorable...just a little thick in the head but not enough to make him truly annoying), and Ari's impatience with him cracks me up to no end (though I can't blame him a bit).

"Do you blink?"

"Occasionally."

Hehehe...I think that's my favorite line, but there were a number of good ones and I've only just started. I hope they end up together on down the road (Kir and Ari, that is). I bet Kir could pout and coddle his way into Ari's good graces eventually. :3

But yeah. Good work so far, and I look forward to continueing. :D

~Moonstar

Ari's a cool character - practical, patient (he'd have to be to deal with Kir, eh?), and pretty down to earth all around. Aside from his snap moment in the first chapter where he spanked Kir (which came off as a little sudden and surprised me), he seems very reasonable (even if it's only because he's practiced at schooling his emotions).

And Kir's laughable as always. Lazy, lazy, lazy - but in a really innocent way. I mean, he did TRY, even if he was exhausted embarassingly quickly. And he was willing to learn. Also, I could totally imagine his face when Ari tossed him that ruby at the end. :D So cute.

~Moonstar

I am so happy to see that you are working on this story again. I am jumping into the new chapters.

I feel like Ari and Kir's relaionship is purely sexual, and maybe just a little friendly. Like sometimes i have to remind myself that they like each other. Are you going to exspand their relaionship to a more romantic level or are you going to leave it as is.

Estoy muy triste por lo que paso Emery , el pequeño soldado es adorable =)

El puerto si que era toda una joya -.-

Jo, I think you need to get off your high horse and learn to just enjoy a story. I've had anal sex, and I don't really see anything wrong with the way it is written here. Please also keep in mind that this is a work of sexual fiction. It doesn't need to be realistic, or whatever you perceive to be realistic, for it to be entertaining and hot. Although I understand you were just trying to be helpful, you did a terrible job of not coming off as, in your own words, a "bitch".

As for the story, I myself have been enjoying it and think Pug is doing a great job. It seems she's put it on pause for a while, but maybe she'll pick it up again one day :)

I've been enjoying this story as a leisurely read, and thank you for sharing it. But I gotta speak up about one thing. Well, two. First off, Ari suddenly jumping into bed with Kir like that didn't feel very credible, it was to abrupt and hurried just to get to the sex part.
Secondly, I enjoy m/m sex in fic. But frankly itreally irks me when the scene reads as if the author doesn't know what they're talking about. Like they're writing straight hetero sex, but with two guys. Anal sex doesn't work like that, not the consensual, nor the effects of the non-consensual. If you haven't tried it yourself, do proper research (try this site for writers: www.squidge.org/~minotaur/classic/eroc.html). Or, don't write it so explicitly. Sex in fic can be every bit as hot without giving any details.
I'm not trying to be a bitch, but I felt this needed saying.

What a turn of events. I hope Emery got all the child smugglers. I hope the children will be able to find their families as well. I am guessing that they were kidnapped from other visitors. What a horrible town. Poor Emery. What a terrible thing for him to go through as well. I hope things will be better for him in the next chapter.

It it too bad that Emery had to get raped. I am happy that he got his revenge. I was wondering if the dagger had special powers that helped him with the slaughter.

Good job Kir for finding Ari! I hope they will be able to save poor Emery before those thugs have their way with him. I had to laugh when they told Kir that they would sell him for his organs. Hilarious.