rate_review Reviews

This story is so sweet and I really like Fen he is such a kid and Seb what a piece of vampire work he is. Thank you for a great story and I look forward to more.

Poor Sebastian. Fen is being mean to him! I guess that is what you get for being such a tease. LOL. Maybe if he asks nicely, Fen will change his mind. Sebastian might attract attention if he goes hunting in Paris. I love to see how they are both trying to fight their attraction to each other. How can they sleep? The sexual tension is sizzling hot.

Ice.
You put ice on a person suffering heat stroke.
Possibly you start with one cube, and swipe it lightly over his lips, then down the line of his chest, then...

Hmm, I have to say the tease is too much at this point! But that pacing can be fixed later in a revision. You shouldn't sacrifice your momentum. Move forwards, not sideways or back. I think we need more action if you're going to sucessfully draw the sexual tension out. You've done well with humor but now we readers (and your charactors) are so pent up. So I suggest you stir that plot. Add a new threat (Paris could have any number and type of supernatural bad-asses in it), or let Bane breath down their necks a bit. Or let them have a rip-roaring fight. (Somehow I picture Sebastion fighting with the flat of his hand, very cute. But I'm sure he can be bad-ass when pushed. I hope Fen's a wrassling type!)

Thanks for the regular updates. I had a bad day at work and need fantasy. Sebastian in his T-shirt and jeans gets better with every page! Fen with his honesty and alpha lusting is darling. Do go on!

I like this story very much! Sorry Im a little late in the review game ^^;
I think the only issue I have with this is that it is a little repetative, but other than that I really enjoyed it. I have to wonder though, can't they loose Bane by going across the sea? You know like buying/renting/stealing a fishing boat or something and just louging around being sexy and all that in the middle of the ocean? lol XD Sorry, had to get in my 2 cents, but that would definatly be my escape plan if I was in their shoes :p
Thank you so much for sharing, here's looking forward to the next chapter! Till then ~Passing Reader

"...and Sebastian looking like he wanted to run up to a playground full of school children and wave his genitals at them."
You know, I nearly choked on a piece of chocolate I was eating while reading this. Fabulous. Funniest line in a fanfiction ever. Have to get the tears out of my eyes now xD

Please update soon, I love this story so far!

I thought it was hilarious how Fen and Sebastian had completely different reactions to the city of Paris. Fen thought it was awesome and Sebastion thought it was crowded and dirty. They really are polar opposites. The idea that they will have to face up to Bane is very scary - especially if Bane does bring more of his pack with him. It makes sense that they will have to fight or they will be on the run for the rest of their lives.

Well, I'm more of a body-reader, but your mind is part of your body, so in theory I do read minds!
Mmm, Sebastian is heating up. I love the idea that sexuality is a total physical/mental mode for vampires. It makes Sebastian like a creature of context, not in firm contact with a true self, in danger of becoming an intelligent animal instead of a person. If you get that there's a difference? I don't know, but tonight I think there is one, anyway. Some nights I don't think so, and some nights I don't care!
Fen must not crease the clothes. And no wire hangers!

I love the dominance play between the both of them. I really like this story and I can't believe I waited so long to read it and now I am hooked. I love the spoiled vampire and the young wolf it is a brilliant premise. Thank you for a great story and I look forward to more.

I love Fen. He is so completely charming. I love how he and Sebastian interact. He is the lovable hero to Sebastian's cute but grumpy damsel in distress. I am sure Sebastian would not appreciate that description. Very funny teaser of a chapter. Maybe they will work up the nerve to go through with that kiss next time.

This is such a sultry story!
I'm just burning with sexual frustration!
Do keep it up and update soon!
XoXo