rate_review Reviews

Aww, that's terrible. :( Where's Amanda to make her feel better?! ;p Hehe, I want to know what your plot is, babe! Is there a big one or is more just a whatever-happens-happens story?

Mmm, teh sex iz good! :D I like how Amanda was comforting Saige when she came over after the fighting, and that led to some good stuff, you know. To be honest, I'm not really sure where the plot is going. I like Amanda and Saige though. They're cute. :) Update when you can, babe!

Oooh, saucy. ;) I wish you would've given a little more in the sex scene. Just a little! ;p I haven't become totally attached to the couple, I have to admit, like I do in some stories, but they're still cute. :) Keep up the 'dates!

Layout has improved! ;D Ah, so much easier to read, thank you! It's nice to know the characters better now. I wish you would've given a physical description of Ms. Thornrush... but that may be just me and my hormones still... hehe. ;) Anyway, I will be here when you decide to update. :) And thanks for reviewing my story!

I'm glad you've used my criticism, and it does flow much better now. :) Aw, Amanda and Saige are a cute little pair. I'm looking forward to more of them.

A slow start, but a start nonetheless. :) I don't really like the layout of the paragraphs; I think they should be separated a bit more. For example:

“I don’t usually go up for competitions.” I replied softly.

“I know Samantha. ..." ... The one school… Midwestern High…

“I’ll do it.” I said finally…

[maybe put something here to show the reader that you've moved on to a new scene/setting]

“I can’t believe you agreed!!!” Amanda cried as we were sitting in the food court of the mall. ...

I find it much more easier to follow that way. ;) By the way, you mention in your summary that it's Saige that, I'm assuming, is the main character? Is that another name for Samantha/Sammy? I'm curious. And, by the description, Ms. Thornrush sounds so purrrr, hehe. I like her. ;D

Anyway, like I said, it's a slow beginning but that's fine! One can't always put action in the first chapter; that's what the other chapters are for, no? I hope you take my layout-criticism to heart and don't think I'm trying to be rude, for I'm not, honest! I think it'll flow easier if you change it up a little like I suggested. :) (I'm modest, I know... haha.)

Good luck! I will be waiting for an update soon! :)