rate_review Reviews

Your Alistair reminded me of this wonderful little artist who dropped off the face of the internet a long time ago. She had quite a handful of red haired men and one of them was named exactly like so; could you be her by any chance?
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Eitherway; your story is very nice, please continue and don't feel discouraged!Know that you have fans ;) I do hope Josie ends up with the mysterious silver haired guy instead of Remmy though ha -Remmy just seems more like the faithful brotherly figure than the lover to me.

I just read all chapters of your story and I love it. An interesting and original attempt at the whole werewolf/vampire scenario, well done! I hope you update soon ... I'm really looking forward to Josie meeting Corbin ^^

Wow, the dress I'd had pictured in my head wasn't like the actual thing at all! lol I've had a thought rolling around in my head for quite some time that Josie is the werewolf leader's daughter. And when's the creepy stalker guy going to come back into the story?

Keep up the great work! I'm so glad you didn't abandon this story. :D

I dont have any criticisms for you but I wanted to review anyway. Ive been following Eyes of the Serpent since you began posting and I love it. Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading how this unfolds and ends.

Ohhhh!! I'd been waiting so long for an update. Thank you for not quitting on this story! ~huggles~

I've enjoyed reading this story very much and found myself saying damn it when i got to the last page and it's not complete.I hope to read more if you contine it

I just found and read this story. I look forward to seeing where you take it. It is great, and somewhat makes me think of the "Underworld" movies, with a slightly different twist. Please keep up the wonderful work!

~Oni

EEP!!! Oh you are mean... so very mean... But I love you... Remmy the fool should have marked her then he "left her to the wolves" eh heh eh heh Bad joke bad joke... But there is no one to blame but him... I mean it was his idea and OH GOD I SWEAR I'll SCREAM if you don't update soon.

Very entertaining story. I'm surprised you haven't received more reviews. But then, most people are only on here for gay-man slash stuff, which is a pity really. First, I'd like to compliment your sheer enthusiasm. A writer's love of their world, characters, and plot really shines through and you do an exemplary job of making it shine with your love for it. The plot is terrific, but I'd like to caution you on characterization. I liked everything up to the Josie-wanting-to-become-a-wolf scene. I loved the first scene with them and that he took her virginity and it was truly explosive and hot to read. What was VERY good about the writing was that you discussed her feelings after the fact with the shower scene. It's SO important to not just move on to the next random fuck-scene, but actually contemplate how the character is feeling about everything that's happened. Sure, it's not the good, yummy-hot-stuff, but it's necessary to keep your characters from falling flat and static. I would hate to see Josie become some cum-dumb doll. There are too many mindless bimbo characters on here and you really have a chance to make her special, so don't miss it.

There are some continuity problems: mainly, the wolves and their various forms. A lot of the time you aren't really clear which form they are in. I mean, it's my personal preference, but I hope you keep them in their human form more often than not because it's a little fetishist and cliche to do the 'omg! furriez! yay!' thing. If you do have them in their anthro forms you should really make it realistic. Half-wolves in lab coats don't make realistic sense. Lab coats don't fit canine bodies, they aren't made for wolves bones, and wolves, even upright wouldn't move quite the same way anyhow, and why would they have need for clothing? You have to be practical and think about these things to avoid the story from becoming silly, or something your reader can't take serious because they're getting hung up over laughing about some inconsistency.

Another thing you might want to consider is detail. You're terrific at spatial detail (perhaps might even want to cut it down a little, that first chapter was a dozy; describing every nook and cranny, I enjoyed it but others may think it's daunting or pretentious). You're even decent at the detail of the male characters...but you've completely neglected to describe JOSIE! The main character! Just a word or sentence every chapter about hair and eye color can help the reader really capture their looks. That being said, I hope you don't make her a flaming redhead or 'raven-haired beauty'. But at any rate, I once again have to come back and compliment your story. It's really good and the plot is nice. Just be careful, be very careful, I would really be disappointed to see Josie become a cum-doll who's just cock-hungry without thoughts and deep emotions and the capability to reflect. So many female characters are like that and it's cliche and unflattering to women everywhere. Maybe one of the reasons why people are turning to slash so much; because men are allowed to be capable, independent, intelligent, and successful and women are painted to be sluts, bitches, whores, or overly-emotional menstrual nags.

I also checked out your DA. Coming from someone who had thirty animals, works with animals, and was practically raised in a pen with them, I can say you're very talented. The poses, the dynamic energy in the artistry really stands out. Fantastic art. Really. So--

I really hope this brightened your day--to see that someone reads and cares enough about your work to know it intimately enough to leave you this MASSIVE review. Take heart. I don't review a lot of people and never to this length. I think you have potential so keep working at it. I hope to hear from you and will be watching your story, love.

Sincerely,
D.R

As I began to read this story as each chapter is revealed, the plot line wasn't headed in the direction that I was expecting. That is completely immaterial because I love this story! I look forward to each chapter (as a matter of fact, I skulk around aff to see if it has had any updates!)

I hope that Josie will be okay for the alpha male seems to have taken an unhealthy desire to take her and to use a lot of force doing it...

Linda