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July 14, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Not too bad thus far for a high school fic. Likewise the action seems a tad rushed forward with not quite enough attention to detail. I was disappointed that the summoning ceremony was condensed to a mere footnote. Try your best to visualize your scenes one step at a time.
The dialouge I will say is pretty authentic and believable for the most part. Well done there.
The dialouge I will say is pretty authentic and believable for the most part. Well done there.
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July 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Something about sex in a tub. Hmmm just love it. Intimate, close and hot, wet...ooops sorry lost myself there. God chap update. Are all cops this clever and insightful? I don't know any. I love that Harley still fights, or tries to but then just lets go with screaming orgasms after. I would love a woman like that too, feisty, strong, a fighter. Fantastic character. Time is running out though for everyone to figure out who the summoner is. Can't wait for the next post. Keep it up!! JP
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July 10, 2010 at 12:00 AM
That was hot. I'm loving Slaiden and Harley. I'm wondering when Harley really starts exploring her feelings for him.
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July 6, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Yey for an update! I really like this chapter, I hope she starts letting her guard down a little bit and gives him more control lol. Please update again soon!
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July 5, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Well worth the wait karategirl! That was great. I could see everything in my head. I'll be stuck at my desk for a while since I'm reading this at work. That was hot. He is very generous to her, for a demon. He knows what he has to do to drive her mad over the edge and make her cum over and over. I cannot wait for the next post. I hope the beat can get the nxt chap done for you quicker and thanks for posting that for us all. I'm glad I didn't have to wait any longer. JP
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June 25, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Please update again soon! Impatience is getting to me lol
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June 21, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Aw man! Here I am all pumped up for a fight! You're a horrible tease!
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June 20, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Yey can't wait for the next chapter! This chapter was really good, please update again soon!
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June 20, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I may be biased... being Beta and all... But I think this story just keeps getting better and better. Its good to see all of them rounding out as characters. Its also intresting to see how single minded John is about his revenge
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June 15, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Ok review for last 2 chapters. I'm behind everyone else I guess as usual. Fantastic. Am I the only one who actually likes Slaiden? I mean it's not his fault, he is a Demon, he is evil, I mean that's just the way it is I guess right! That would be like get hating a snake for biting you when you mess with it. It's just what they do(actually scared of snakes so maybe not a good example). He's done bad things to bad people, well except for Harley. I guess maybe I'm a little delusional! I'm blathering on endlessly. Should be saved for the forum. Where is the post on the forum??