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February 11, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I am sorry. But, I am totally confused. Who is Vincent? Who is Raleigh? How did they meet? Please, explain these things soon. What did Raleigh mean by undead? There are too many unanswered questions too many holes. And don't forget to describe what your characters look like.
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February 10, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I like this story. I would love to find out what Vincent looks like and how he met Reighleigh ( I hope I spelled that properly) It looks like Vincent is hypnotizing Reighleigh to do what he commands. I am eager to see what happens next.
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February 8, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I don't really like the paragraphing style...
and... things went a bit too fast...
what had happened before? will this continue?
the story line im getting so far isn't all that bad, but, maybe, slow down the pace a little?
and... things went a bit too fast...
what had happened before? will this continue?
the story line im getting so far isn't all that bad, but, maybe, slow down the pace a little?