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July 4, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hi Darkling Willow. Leyjen has been a very bad position for a very long time. Everytime I think of the story I remember that Leyjen is being torturedon that ship. It like being stuck in hell on endless replay. I know you are probably busy but give us another chapter soon please. It is too sad to leave Leyjen like that for such a long time.
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May 22, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hi Darkling Willow. How is the writing going? I miss Leyjen and Pol and your brilliant writing. I hope that you will be able to give us an update soon now that summer is here.
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March 7, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Brilliant! Can't wait for more!
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February 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hi Darkling Willow. I am DYING for an update. Leyjen has been left in such a bad situation. I hope you will rescue him soon.
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February 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hi Darkling Willow. It is such a bitter pill to see Pol's family betray him again. I don't know how he will ever be able to speak to them knowing how uncaring they are. They are always willing to stand by and watch him suffer and die. I really hate Wrailan. It is not fair that he should get away with so much cruelty. I am praying that someone will come and rescue either Leyjen or Pol and bring them back together again. I read Moon's comment and I have to agree with her/him. You have created a fabulous fictional world with all these wonderful characters and rules. You could write so many stories based in this world. I hope you will and that one day they will all be published. Until next time.
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February 20, 2011 at 12:00 AM
yayy! I'm so happy that Polinues is going to make it! I wonder what he's going to do when he is strong enough to live normally. I can't predict at all where this is going and I love it! Keep up the good work :D!
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February 9, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Ah this was so entertaining. Took me about a week to get through the chapters, it's addictive lol!
Anyways there are some minor grammar mistakes now and then. Very minor, I'll make note of where it happens next time (I just wanted to get to 53 xD) And also you should leave some space between dialogue and paragraphs. I noticed there was barely any in the last 2(3?) chapters. It's hard on the eyes.
Now on to the good stuff.
The relationship between Leyjen and Polinues is so deep. I feel sorry for them whenever something bad happens. But oh well, despite the angst something usually makes up for it.
Except you have given us glimpses into the future and I cannot for the life of me figure out how you're going to get them together again. It was the same thing with the fire. I've been trying all along to figure out how you're going to use that later in the story. Was it to make Polinues' personality more understanding/bitter? Or was it simply to make his blue mark less noticeable?
And the future. The glimpses of the dreaded future. I fear for Leyjen cause he's usually not there. It's like, aaah who is this woman? And aaa where's Leyjen? It's been 53 great chapters and like all the background information is finally unfolding. I'm going to be sad to see such a great story end but at the same time Imma be happy cause I'll know what finally happens. (Yay!)
For the first half of the story I seriously thought this was going to be about Amraeen and Leyjen. And then Leyjen's lover is put aside at the flick of his father's wrist. It kind of foreshadows what happens to Leyjen now since the relationship is the same and there is the fatherly figure(Wrilan) that is still alive. Ready to ruin things of course. D:< I figured something was gonna happen since you decided to give us readers a look with him alone.
Soo... where's Amraeen? :D
I love the development of your characters but I'm having a really hard time picturing them as they are. Like I just can't imagine what Leyjen is in his 'true' form. Maybe you're leaving it up to the reader but I'd like to know how they look like to you. 'Brown hair, brown eyes and tan skin' only gets me so far LOL. It took me absolutely forever to figure out Leyjen had wings and it wasn't like you messing with the wording and having him portrayed as a demon/angel/thing by just saying the shadows looked like that. You really did mean, literally that he had wings. xDDD lol
Anyways, this is such a fantastic story. I'm hooked on it right now. I'm so glad the last chapter wasn't a major cliffhanger or anything or else I would have spazzled out!
I hope you update this now and then, there's nothing worse than never seeing the end of something that has so much potential. You have made a highly creative world with perfectly fleshed out characters. They have their flaws and weaknesses, fears and joys etc, etc~
And one last thing, thank you for taking the time to write the story in the first place, it has served for great entertainment. <3
~Moon
Anyways there are some minor grammar mistakes now and then. Very minor, I'll make note of where it happens next time (I just wanted to get to 53 xD) And also you should leave some space between dialogue and paragraphs. I noticed there was barely any in the last 2(3?) chapters. It's hard on the eyes.
Now on to the good stuff.
The relationship between Leyjen and Polinues is so deep. I feel sorry for them whenever something bad happens. But oh well, despite the angst something usually makes up for it.
Except you have given us glimpses into the future and I cannot for the life of me figure out how you're going to get them together again. It was the same thing with the fire. I've been trying all along to figure out how you're going to use that later in the story. Was it to make Polinues' personality more understanding/bitter? Or was it simply to make his blue mark less noticeable?
And the future. The glimpses of the dreaded future. I fear for Leyjen cause he's usually not there. It's like, aaah who is this woman? And aaa where's Leyjen? It's been 53 great chapters and like all the background information is finally unfolding. I'm going to be sad to see such a great story end but at the same time Imma be happy cause I'll know what finally happens. (Yay!)
For the first half of the story I seriously thought this was going to be about Amraeen and Leyjen. And then Leyjen's lover is put aside at the flick of his father's wrist. It kind of foreshadows what happens to Leyjen now since the relationship is the same and there is the fatherly figure(Wrilan) that is still alive. Ready to ruin things of course. D:< I figured something was gonna happen since you decided to give us readers a look with him alone.
Soo... where's Amraeen? :D
I love the development of your characters but I'm having a really hard time picturing them as they are. Like I just can't imagine what Leyjen is in his 'true' form. Maybe you're leaving it up to the reader but I'd like to know how they look like to you. 'Brown hair, brown eyes and tan skin' only gets me so far LOL. It took me absolutely forever to figure out Leyjen had wings and it wasn't like you messing with the wording and having him portrayed as a demon/angel/thing by just saying the shadows looked like that. You really did mean, literally that he had wings. xDDD lol
Anyways, this is such a fantastic story. I'm hooked on it right now. I'm so glad the last chapter wasn't a major cliffhanger or anything or else I would have spazzled out!
I hope you update this now and then, there's nothing worse than never seeing the end of something that has so much potential. You have made a highly creative world with perfectly fleshed out characters. They have their flaws and weaknesses, fears and joys etc, etc~
And one last thing, thank you for taking the time to write the story in the first place, it has served for great entertainment. <3
~Moon
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January 25, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Interesting second chapter, raises more questions about the boy and his powers. One thing, though - too many commas in places where they aren't needed. It disrupts the flow of the story sometimes. Anyhoo, I'll try to read more later on. Thanks for writing -DL
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January 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Wow, a lot of questions raised that i'm sure you answer in later chapters. Please do me a favor and separate your paragraphs for the other chapters so that I can read my through them. I'm unholy curious about just what the baby's father was. Also, what she meant by her friend being tested and being declared marred. Want to know what that means, exactly. Anyhoo, good first chapter, quite interesting. -DL
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January 15, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Oh My Gosh Darkling Willow! How can all this be happening to poor Leyjen? Even with all this talk of fate, I can't believe that he is going to let all these bad things happen to him. I dont know what kind of future lays ahead for him. Is there really a temple waiting for him after all this abuse or is it all a trap? I really can't believe how much the family has betrayed him after he spent all these years taking care of Pol. I hope Leyjen gets to have his revenge on this guy who is raping him. I have mixed feelings about Gwendir. I understand how he feels but I think he deserves to be paid back as well. I am sure Leyjen has the power to get himself out of this mess but he is just not willing to use it. The only thought I have is that when Leyjen finally does get out of this exile, Wrailan will surely deserve whatever he has coming to him. I am eager to see how Pol is holding up. I can't bear the thought of Leyjen and Pol being separated. For the past few days I have been so desperate when I think of it.