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May 3, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Liking this story so far! I can't wait to read more! And the smell of cologne.. sure. ; )
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November 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hi Madlodger,
Congrats on finishing the writing month thingie that seems to be driving people crazy! I didn't finish the chapter yet, I just wanted to comment on the boy, lad, youth question. I like to word boy probably up to age 25! I hate when authors use the word man, when the kid is only like 17; it doesn't seem appropriate. When I see man written down, I think of an older guy, like in his 30's. I consider high school kids and college kids boys.
Anyway, gotta finish the chapter now!
Congrats on finishing the writing month thingie that seems to be driving people crazy! I didn't finish the chapter yet, I just wanted to comment on the boy, lad, youth question. I like to word boy probably up to age 25! I hate when authors use the word man, when the kid is only like 17; it doesn't seem appropriate. When I see man written down, I think of an older guy, like in his 30's. I consider high school kids and college kids boys.
Anyway, gotta finish the chapter now!
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November 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
OMG, Evan is pretty clueless, huh? What's that stench? Hahah, priceless!!!!!! What's even funnier is the bulldog guy having to sit down gingerly on the chair...I would have thought that Jake would be the one w/the sore butt! lol
Funny chapter; looking forward to the next one!
Oh, not to be picky (I am pretty picky, sorry), but when someone blushes or is embarrassed, his face is flushed, not flashed. And looser is loser. Sorry, it's the editor in me; I find things wrong w/everything; even signs in department stores! Seriously!
Funny chapter; looking forward to the next one!
Oh, not to be picky (I am pretty picky, sorry), but when someone blushes or is embarrassed, his face is flushed, not flashed. And looser is loser. Sorry, it's the editor in me; I find things wrong w/everything; even signs in department stores! Seriously!
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November 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
ha cologne indeed. fast paced chapter, Evan's roommate has a temper! I think it's still appropriate to call them boys, my uncle still refers to my 25 year old brother that way--and Evan is still under twenty. Anyway, love the story can't wait for more.
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November 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I enjoyed reading these first few chapters. I too am a real butter connoisseur so I know just what you are talking about. I like Evan and Dingo seems like a good kind hearted person. I am looking forward to reading more.
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November 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Good chapter! A few typos, no big deal: bold should be bald and staff, as in get your staff, should be stuff.
I'm glad Evan made a friend. I hope is roommate is nice and they become friends. Evan seems so shy.
Hey, I wish we all had Upens! They sound so cool!
I'm glad Evan made a friend. I hope is roommate is nice and they become friends. Evan seems so shy.
Hey, I wish we all had Upens! They sound so cool!
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November 3, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Malcolm Shitz! Ha! Love the name! Great story, looking foward to finding out about Evan's roommies!
Oh, btw: strait is supposed to be straight.
Oh, btw: strait is supposed to be straight.
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November 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Sounds promising...how old is Evan? And why is he leaving his town?
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November 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I thought in the first chapter you were kidding about the town Hairy Pits! But now I know you're serious! What a crazy name for a town! lol
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November 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
That was fast ! Thanks for sharing...