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April 22, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Hey, nice work!
I'm kind of a writing snob, so take this at face value. For a first piece from a male perspective, I'm pretty impressed. No great innovations in plot development (but hey, that takes inspiration, nothing wrong with re-doing something and doing it well. Nothing new under the sun, right?) but I like your style.
I don't see a lot of erotica written from a male perspective that actually feels authentic, but this story sold it pretty well. You may or may not be interested in feedback from a *real live male writer* (there don't seem to be that many of us doing this :D), but regardless I think it's a sign of talent when an author can do a good job of getting into someone else's skin.
Give us more!
I'm kind of a writing snob, so take this at face value. For a first piece from a male perspective, I'm pretty impressed. No great innovations in plot development (but hey, that takes inspiration, nothing wrong with re-doing something and doing it well. Nothing new under the sun, right?) but I like your style.
I don't see a lot of erotica written from a male perspective that actually feels authentic, but this story sold it pretty well. You may or may not be interested in feedback from a *real live male writer* (there don't seem to be that many of us doing this :D), but regardless I think it's a sign of talent when an author can do a good job of getting into someone else's skin.
Give us more!
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March 26, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Well, I actually thought this story as a whole was written really well; and you've done an excellent job on the latest chapter. I look forward to reading more of this story, and hopefully soon.
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December 16, 2009 at 12:00 AM
It really wasn't that bad, not the best i've ever read but it suited the style of the story. Only issues I have is that the male character's tendency to thinking deep philosophical thoughts while experiencing mindblowing pleasure... A bit fake but understandable, that and the inappropriate comments inserted (maybe AN's?) it disrupts the rhythem of the story, making it hard to read
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December 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I think you did a good job. Yeah, it was a little cheesy here and there, but overall, it was pretty good writing. Keep up the good work! ^^
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November 12, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hey don't knock yourself too hard that was pretty good. Got my mind going that's for sure. Is there more to come??
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November 6, 2009 at 12:00 AM
one should never be ashamed of the work one has done
I like it and so get out of your emo corner
before you characters feel neglected
I like it and so get out of your emo corner
before you characters feel neglected
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October 30, 2009 at 12:00 AM
HOT
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October 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I LOVE THIS STORY !
Matt is so adorable
but lets not forget the real star *wink*
luxie a succubus who had her first
and the fact that this story made me laugh out loud
and not weak laughter I mean the rumbling belly loud laughter
Please continue
Matt is so adorable
but lets not forget the real star *wink*
luxie a succubus who had her first
and the fact that this story made me laugh out loud
and not weak laughter I mean the rumbling belly loud laughter
Please continue
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October 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Great story!
I see you researched succubus before writing
I'm proud to say I want to see what happens next
I see you researched succubus before writing
I'm proud to say I want to see what happens next
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October 17, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I like this story so far. I can't wait to see the next chapter!