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September 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Please email me when you update: narcoleptic86@gmail.com
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August 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Bloom didn't ask half as many questions about Jesse as I would have. Like for example, why did Jesse get hurt and what did the gang do to him that was so bad? Looking forward to reading more.
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August 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
HA! I love it so far. Jesse has always intrigued me. Now, I'm even more interested!
I can't wait to find out what Hanley (right?) tells Bloom about Jesse.... I bet that will be an interesting conversation. And damn, I want Bloom out of the gang-infested neighborhood. :(
I can't wait to find out what Hanley (right?) tells Bloom about Jesse.... I bet that will be an interesting conversation. And damn, I want Bloom out of the gang-infested neighborhood. :(
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August 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Loved the last chapter! I can't wait to find out what this Jesse really does! Hope Bloom and Chaz don't get jumped on the way to the pool hall!
You know, I was just thinking of this story the other day; I'm so glad you're continuing with it!
You know, I was just thinking of this story the other day; I'm so glad you're continuing with it!
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August 10, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really like the mood and the pace of this new story. I am very excited for Bloom and Jesse to get together again. I am also eager to find out about Jesse's life. I love Stephen and Chaz too. I can't wait to read more.
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July 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
What's a crona? Is that like a Corona? J/K What's the equivalent to US dollars? Interesting story; a little confusing. I thought Bloom played w/his band at the club. What kind of club is it? Like a stripper club? Like a Chippendale's? Looking forward to the next chapter.
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July 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really like the story you got going here ^^ cool settings and characters and an interesting plot, the only quick crit I have is that you do alot of "talking heads" where the characters dialogue seems really unnatural and awkward just so you can get the information out and so they say things that realy people wouldnt normally say, like all the stuff about a bad neighborhood etc. If theyve known eachother long enough, ALOT of that should just be known and not needed to repeat. Its okay to just tell us through either action or out of the dialogue, because otherwiseit feels like the characters KNOW Im listening in on them and they're performing a show just for me instead of really existing, and it takes away from the intensity and depth of the scene. But that aside I really look forward to the next chapter, you have a good thing going!