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July 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
An interesting start! I find your writing style captivating and describing the world rich in detail. If I had any comments to make, it would be that the descriptions of the characters themselves were vague and the interactions didn't make much sense (I'm assuming that you purposely did that since it is Chapter 1!). Can't say I'm hooked yet but intrigued enough to see where it leads.