rate_review Reviews

Why do I get the feeling that paw is going to be p*ssed with the thoughts that went through Mik's head? (he thought sex with Rel was hotter, ouch, Paw is not going to be pleased)

For chapters 192-194
I love Mik and Paw’s relationship, the things they say to each other make me giggle a lot and just feel bubbly….Wow, the hot sex part…was hot…
Personally, I’d like to see the three of them together, but…I don’t know if Lel would be accepting of that
Gosh, I was actually nervous for Lel during that whole love scene…I didn’t know whether to feel good or feel awful….Then…everything worked out and smoothed out, yay! Again, sorry for the smallish review, but….I’m at a serious loss for words….This was just wonderful!

So Paw and others were in the room w/Mik and Rel? Or just close by? How embarrassing! Well, I hope Rel's feelings changed about sex. I wonder if Mik's gonna want a repeat performance.....or Rel...

We launch straight into hearing about your character Mik, but personally I'd like a bit more of an introduction of context. I'm not sure whether Mik is called that because it's a very short, modern contraction of Michael, or whether it's a completely fantasy-style name. Or whether he's human or some kind of animal, or... the possibilities are pretty broad at the moment. I'd like to see some introductory setting, personally, before I'm required to start watching someone's movements.

The short sentences, the staccato way this story opening is written, gives the impression of Mik being nervous. It works well, I think!

Ah, so this experiment has something to do with encouraging the Sidhe to breed? By acting as teasers of some kind, I presume?

"...he followed a good ways behind the man." Followed a 'good ways' behind the man? I'm not sure this sentence fits, although that might be due to a cultural difference between you and me.

I'm down to the first mention of Samual Koln, and although the story is going pretty well, I can't help but feel there's something a little too fleeting about the description, the way the story's going. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I think it might be about description of the surroundings.

Emotion. I think what's lacking is emotion-based stuff. Although I can see that Mik is very apprehensive, I think more is needed to link the events, objects, places, people and so on with emotions and memories and senses so that the reader can really identify with them.

I'm not quite sure what to make of your description of the Sidhe. Are they simply very rugged/aggressive humans, then? I was half-expecting something more alien. Not that that's a bad thing, if your Sidhe are distinctive in some way then that's fine, it's just not immediately obvious to this reader, apart from a few different behaviours.

Yeah, I'm nearly at the end of the chapter now and although you're showing the behaviour of the Sidhe, I'm not getting a sense of... richness about their culture (if culture it can be called). Which is a shame because in many ways, this first chapter is showing a lot of promise. It just needs a bit of a tweak, I think, and it'll be ideal.

I'll be interested to see just how hard it *will* be!

- Pay back via How to be Happy.

- From the AFF.net Bar.

OMG, they got a head start and didn't wait for Rel!!!!! Hahahah So, did Rel request Mik? And OMG, Mik was so sweet, he only has eyes for Paw and Paw is the only one he wants to feel pleasure with. Awwwww

So, thank you for using Mr. Wallbanger! lol But omg, no prep for either of them? Ouch!!!! So looking forward to that 3some! lol And what a great b/f Paw is; letting Mik have his way w/Rel!

*happy shriek* My suggestion came to life!!! That's so awesome! It's like... I got honored with a shoppping spree to any bookstore... without a time limit... without a book limit. Thanks for everyone who voted with me. *dances away*

Mik and Paw they're like horny teenagers. LOL.
Paw goes and volunteers Mik to 'help' Rel out (snort) then Mik blackmails Paw to get some shower lovin.
All this is leading to my most wished for thing. A Mik/Rel/Paw threesome. Ya!

Chapter 189 & 190. ROFL! Oh gosh, I feel silly going through the whole parentage thing with Mik and Paw and the the leader one with Taln. XD And Lily, getting it down with Hohi and some how regretting it while still not really regretting it and keep it from everyone else was funny. XD Aw~ -wipes tears- the wallbanger one is a good one. i'm thinking a little bit on porno curiosity for Paw in the sense of Paw being tied down with Mik riding him while being blind folded.......... hm. a twist to this perhaps if i'm not late after my first suggestion?

Chapter 191. ROFL! poor Koln being kept too busy (i think) to get a chance to ravish sexually deprived Taln. I wonder if Koln will get a chance to later.

Finally! We know who the hell Raya is! But…now I’m nervous….about him….something seems…..off…And he’s even more mysterious than before….*growl* I don’t like him for the time being
Gosh, Taln is sure bitchy. If he didn’t let me use the bathroom when I needed to go he’d have a mess to clean up…I agree with Souse….I didn’t think it was possible to embarrass Koln like that haha
So far, I don’t wanna kill you.....You can stop digging your grave now…I actually kinda feel like an idiot….I guess I still don’t understand just what Lillow and Hohi did…gahhhh