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schedule
July 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Wow... I thought this was very good. I really identified with the main character (you?), and I'd love to see where this goes.
Something I'd like to see would be a greater character developement; things seemed a little fast-paced. Maybe if you took some more time introducing new characters, you'd give readers a chance to 'ease in' to things.
If you plan on writing more, I'm really interested in seeing where this is going.
Something I'd like to see would be a greater character developement; things seemed a little fast-paced. Maybe if you took some more time introducing new characters, you'd give readers a chance to 'ease in' to things.
If you plan on writing more, I'm really interested in seeing where this is going.
schedule
July 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Are you danish? Because you have a mistake, where it looks like you wrote the danish term and forgot to correct it later. I have marked it...
continued their conversation as if they hadn't just flocked over to my table and descended "en masse" for no reason.
Just thought that if it was me, I wanted someone to tell me.
Peace
continued their conversation as if they hadn't just flocked over to my table and descended "en masse" for no reason.
Just thought that if it was me, I wanted someone to tell me.
Peace