schedule
June 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This sounds like a promising story so far. My only complaint is that you should make the chapters longer, rather than just a couple of paragraphs. On average a chapter will be at the very least 40-100+ paragraphs. Also more detail would be nice. What makes the lobby of the apartment gorgeous? Is it large and fancy, or kind of small? Take some time to describe the settings rather than just rushing along. It's not as much fun when we can't see what the world you're writing about looks like.