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October 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
So you have me completely hooked on your characters. I love scatter brained Lesara! I can't wait to read the sequel.
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June 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I love the second half of this story. I am at Chapter 30. I went to look at Rendell's fan art. He is so very sexy. Such a devious evil cruel and sexy demon. Such a brat. He really is the perfect bad guy.
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June 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I normally wait to review after the story is completed. Since FC is now finished I will review. Ah hem!
First of all I was very pleased how often the chapters were posted. Normally it takes a writer days, weeks even months before posting a chapter. I have a list of all the stories I found interesting and it would seem that some of them have just dropped off the face of AFF.
Found all of your characters personalities very believable. Loved Reyven, Arna, Sinda and Lesara. Hated Rendall & Koumouri.
Your writing was impeccable as was your spelling, puncutation, etc.
Your description of places, things and objects was just right. Not too much or too little.
You grabbed my attention with each chapter which is a mark of a good writer. The pace of the story was good. Shows that you took your time to think out the story line of each chapter.
Looking forward to the sequels and other stories that you may have dancing in your fertile imagination.
First of all I was very pleased how often the chapters were posted. Normally it takes a writer days, weeks even months before posting a chapter. I have a list of all the stories I found interesting and it would seem that some of them have just dropped off the face of AFF.
Found all of your characters personalities very believable. Loved Reyven, Arna, Sinda and Lesara. Hated Rendall & Koumouri.
Your writing was impeccable as was your spelling, puncutation, etc.
Your description of places, things and objects was just right. Not too much or too little.
You grabbed my attention with each chapter which is a mark of a good writer. The pace of the story was good. Shows that you took your time to think out the story line of each chapter.
Looking forward to the sequels and other stories that you may have dancing in your fertile imagination.
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June 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This was such a good story, and it was upadated really fast, I look forward to reading the sequel, I am interested in Kyran's dad and how he might expand as a character.
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June 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Thanks for sharing this story with us and extra kudos for seeing it to completion! I've been following it since you started and watched daily for your updates. I enjoyed it.
Now that you have asked for a constructive critique, here's my thoughts:
I thought you did a very good job writing this story. I liked the narrative(POV) used and thought the scenes transitioned well. The characters were believable and the interaction/conversations weren't distracting and flowed with the story. Some of the negatives... I thought you went too far describing the abuse of Reyvn while he was with Rendell. I like tragedy and felt sympathetic to Reyvn at the beginning while he was with Koumori, I was sympathetic while he was with the Naga, and for the first or second encounter while he was with Rendell. After awhile though, as a reader, I started growing numb to all the abuse (it had lost the shock value) and generally started to loose interest in Reyvn. I would have preferred those scenes to be abbreviated; personally, I find there is power (in writing) by leaving some things to the readers imagination. If something is implied without too much details, the reader will fill in the details bringing them deeper into the story. Another aspect of the story which threw me was the fact that some of the characters were described as wearing jeans. For a fantasy setting, they seemed to be out of place.
Your story provided me hours of reading enjoyment and for that, I'm appreciative. I'm looking forward to reading the sequels!!
Now that you have asked for a constructive critique, here's my thoughts:
I thought you did a very good job writing this story. I liked the narrative(POV) used and thought the scenes transitioned well. The characters were believable and the interaction/conversations weren't distracting and flowed with the story. Some of the negatives... I thought you went too far describing the abuse of Reyvn while he was with Rendell. I like tragedy and felt sympathetic to Reyvn at the beginning while he was with Koumori, I was sympathetic while he was with the Naga, and for the first or second encounter while he was with Rendell. After awhile though, as a reader, I started growing numb to all the abuse (it had lost the shock value) and generally started to loose interest in Reyvn. I would have preferred those scenes to be abbreviated; personally, I find there is power (in writing) by leaving some things to the readers imagination. If something is implied without too much details, the reader will fill in the details bringing them deeper into the story. Another aspect of the story which threw me was the fact that some of the characters were described as wearing jeans. For a fantasy setting, they seemed to be out of place.
Your story provided me hours of reading enjoyment and for that, I'm appreciative. I'm looking forward to reading the sequels!!
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June 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Is excelent! Good narration, very interesting ploting and beautiful and strong sex.
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June 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I'm still an immense Lesara fan even in the end. I dunno; maybe it was the tail wagging or just the general fact that I haven't read a lot of fics with nagas in them. Perhaps I have a newly discovered 'thing' for nagas. Oh my... the idea of a story about a royal family of nagas in Egypt is now my new goal.
I'm glad Reyven is no longer helpless. Maybe, hopefully, a certain veran will get his someday x3
I'm also glad I read this fiction slash roleplay. Thank you, Mikal and Ember. You shall be remembered, and maybe even stalked.
I'm glad Reyven is no longer helpless. Maybe, hopefully, a certain veran will get his someday x3
I'm also glad I read this fiction slash roleplay. Thank you, Mikal and Ember. You shall be remembered, and maybe even stalked.
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June 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Wounderful awesome Marvelous
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June 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I am caught up to chapter 23. I wonder if there is any hope for Reyvn or if Rendell is truly going to torture him into insanity. The only chance I can see is if Lesara comes back and kills Rendell. I wish Reyvn would be able to defend himself or he will be a victim forever.
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June 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Hi. I just finished chapter 14 of Forever Caged. Great story so far. I really cannot believe that Reyvn is about to go through even more horrible torture. Rendell and Lesara are like polar opposites. I hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel.