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September 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
LOVE YOuU~!!!
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September 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This is really good. I can't for you to continue!
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September 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Echoside resonates with me for several reasons, thus my recommendation. To start off, I think it's very well written (composition, flow, POV, etc.). You are descriptive in your scenes but not to the point where it leaves nothing to the imagination (something I appreciate about Jenner's work BTW). A good story should immerse the reader into the scene but if the writing describes and spells everything out, then the author is forcing the reader to suspend imagination and see the scene one way only. A good example here is when you wrote the sex scene in Revelations when Matthew has his first encounter with another man. Everyone loves lemon scenes and you probably could have had several paragraphs describing every caress, every groan of pleasure but you didn't. You described what was happening but intentionally left gaps so the reader could fill in the details-- what the author doesn't say but implies is powerful! I found Revelations to be extremely hot and you would have ruined it by being too descriptive. Getting back to Echoside though, from chapter one, you were able to place me in the tavern where they were all talking... I could envision the rough grain in the wood tables, I could smell the stale beer and smell of fresh baked bread. Not many writers are able to pull it off.
I like all the characters you have established but was instantly pulled to Soren from the beginning. His blushing infatuation with Matthew, his innocence makes him adorable. After reading so many different stories on AFF the last few months, I have been able to finally define what type of characters have the greatest impact on me; It's lost innocence. That doesn't necessarly mean rape or NC sex, it means loss of choice or freedom. You have built up Soren's innocence from the beginning (his singing in chapter 5 helped reinforce that) and from your summary description, know the rug is about to be yanked out from under his feet. With your introduction of Sebastian and now the mercenary, I'm guessing the stage is set for all this to happen within the next several chapters. I curious to see how it plays out and how you handle all the angst the characters will be dealing with.
Few suggestions though... in chapter 4, Soren was so out of character and you touched on it in chapter 5 where he was wondering if Sebastian was the cause of it. Now with the mercenary, and Soren writhing on the floor passing out, is that some sort of supernatural ability this mercenary has? I suppose what I'm trying to say is you have back to back chapters where your main character is showing fraility with no sign of strength. If Sebastian and this mercenary are both supernatural beings, you reinforced that by tearing down some of Soren's credibility. Finally, I enjoyed Revelations because you released that story parallel to Echoside and it coincided with Matthews admission that he had prostituted himself out. I don't want to read Crimson Desire because you haven't revealed your vampires in Echoside yet. I consider CD to be a spoiler of what's to come.
I'm eagerly awaiting your next chapters!!
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September 20, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This is absolutely amazing! I was drawn in from the first paragraph, and i like the fact that you want length and quality. It's very well written and i really can't wait for the next chapters! That was an evil cliffy you know!
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August 14, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Yes, an update!!
Who is Alex??
Who is Alex??
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July 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I love this story! Soren is the best- can't wait to see what happens when vampires get involved.. Keep updating!
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July 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter! Looking forward to reading more about Soren and Matthew.
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July 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
"Trækkerdreng"? You can't be anything but danish...
Fortsæt det gode arbejde, historien er fantastisk.
Fortsæt det gode arbejde, historien er fantastisk.
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May 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I love the characters and how you are building up the story. Looking forward to future updates!
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May 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I love Balduin's sweet friendship and Katrine's feistiness!!!
Can't wait to meet Matthew!
Great flow to the story. Descriptions of characters are thorough and interesting and make me want to read more!!!
Can't wait to meet Matthew!
Great flow to the story. Descriptions of characters are thorough and interesting and make me want to read more!!!