rate_review Reviews

I vote for moving on with the action :3 Dev and Kingy are my favorites, big time <3

Thanks for the quick updates! I was expecting that Omega might make an appearance this chapter but enjoyed how you played out Chapters 11 and 12 and glad to see that you are focusing on Devin's thoughts and feelings about the whole situation. I like Devin's stubborness and glad to see that you aren't rushing him into consumating the bond with Jayden. If I had any advice, I would say not to limit your story or characters to the same linear Yaoi 'fluffiness' (you haven't so far) that is so prevalent with many stories and don't feel that you need to inject something sexual into each chapter. You already have your readers hooked so take advantage of that and throw some twist and turns... possibly a dash of tragedy in. For me as a reader, the climax (lol, no pun intended!) of this story will occur when Devin/Jayden finally consummate their bond so very content on seeing you post MANY more chapters before that ever happens.

As far as Chris and Adam are concerned, I find them slightly annoying insofar as they think they have only Devin's best intentions in mind (Sarah is FAR more believable on that!). They have shown on more than one occasion that their own needs/wants/desires take precidence. Both are redeemable but think they need to be fleshed out more and have them focused on their own problems than having them critical of Dev's plight (their own relationship, past, suspicion from the Genesis Council, Adam's loss of status/favor, etc.).

All in all, I love the story and your writing style. I wouldn't change a thing with what you've done so far. I provided my own thoughts and insights to your story not to be critical but to let you know how one of your loyal readers precieve the efforts of hard work. Please keep the updates coming!

I vote for summarized version
:)
great story

I'll be happy either way. ;) I want to see Adam's guilt trip when the anger leaves him or maybe he won't feel guilty? I want to know! I think the first option is better. We can wait a bit to see what will happen with Jayden and Devin, right? XD
I must say I'm really enjoy this story, more and more with every chapter and this one, especially the dream, was a master piece! Please, don't stop writing! It would be a shame! Really! It's one of the best stories I read here.

vote for smexy action. By the by, why the hell was Chris so feral? I thought he was a little bit more fragile and angsty than that. Or is the love/mating the cure all? Just an observation.

Oh! I didn't see this chappy last night! You're fast!
Chris?!?! What is this?? You have more bad caracter than I thought.
And I'm not sure about the love declaration of Jayden to Devin.
I mean to love someone you have to know him, not just the superficial but the real person, what he like, think, how he reacts to a particular thing or a other. Jayden *like* Devin i have no doubt but love....
Gwen

Very nice chapter. I am eager to see what Jayden will think of the new Devin. Perhaps Jayden should figure out how to be a stronger dominant to his consort or else they will still be struggling when he does manage to get Devin home. Poor Adam - he just can't win. Jayden should not have locked him up especially since Adam brought Devin home in the first place. Great update. I am looking forward to the next one. I also read the oneshot about Chris. Poor Chris needs so much love. I hope he and Adam can have some bonding time together.

Bad chappie? Pshaw. For every action there is a reaction yadda yadda yadda, but you know what I mean. I would rather have a chappie of character building and dialogue than straight smexy action. Ahem, was that me saying that? Hmmm, I guess it was. Not that I don't like smexy action but I personally need a reason for it. Dog in heat are just fine is that is all it is - like a one shot but when it's a story of love and intrigue with the possibility of devastating consequences, I would rather have an angsty build up to explosive consort/king smexiness. It makes it more satisfying. Well that's my two cents. Since it's Canadian, it's only worth one but hey, every review is appreciated. *cheshire grin* So I'm waiting for the angsty smex. Should be good. hahahaah. Write now please.

*Evil smirk*
I really liked this chapter. Devin is in so much trouble. Mr Puppy-eyes-angry-king is in his own deal of the same. Laugh. Good work :3

Love the story, can't wait to see what the King does when he gets his hands on his Consort.