rate_review Reviews

Such a meaty, long chapter after last chapter's cliffhanger, which I like! There's nothing more annoying than reading a very short update. ;)
I sincerely thought that Zachary was dead on the last chapter and I was thinking,'well, yes he's extremely annoying. But I think there's no need for him to be killed off."
After reading what he does in this chapter, I changed my mind. He deserved to be killed a thousand times over. What do I have to bribe you with to have him suffer a sloooow and painful death? -offer a jar of cookies-
Ashcroft must be out of his mind to treat his mate so, and to think that by hurting Jayden and kidnapping Devin, Devin would be inclined to join him. I'm so glad that Devin didn't break down after being violated. I can't wait to read Jayden 'reclaiming' Devin after that. That's a bit jumping the gun, isn't it? Lol...But I can't wait for Jayden and Devin to be together again, as I crave fluff.
I think you did a very good job with this chapter. It's long but very engaging. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.
Oh, I have a question, does the mating mark stay the same no matter how many reincarnations both parties have gone through?

Weeeeeeeeeee omg btw i hate ashcroft how dare he! i hope he dies a slow and very painful death! Hmph!

The beginning of the end? Does that mean the story is winding down? Anyways, I really didn't see Zachary's involvement in all this, but it makes perfect sense now.

I read alot of action/epic adventure novels and your action sequences are just fine.

ACK! I HATE YOU!! (with BIG CAPITAL letters even!)....JUST KIDDING!!! =)

First off, I have to admit that after reading your dire intro, I had to build up the courage to read this chap and then speed through it b/c of the death and chaos--I was anxious and worried the whole time--still am btw, lol! But, oooo, interesting plot twist! I like how it was Zachary and not Thomas who was the real Omega man, and I must admit I was a bit sorry for the old, pathetic fool... but I feel so much more sympathy for Jayden and Devin, I wouldn't want to be either of them right now--damn you Ashcroft! As for the action sequences, they weren't bad (I think action is one of the most difficult things to put into words anyway because it's so dynamic and multi-sensory--well lots of things are but that's beside the point...) still, I was much more preoccupied with my worry for the characters and rushed thru the action trying to get to important developments, lol!
OMG, truly evil cliffhanger, tho! Erg, I wanna know what's gonna happen, lol!

Also, it will never cease to amaze me what stupid things people will do for power and position (i.e. join a cult ruled over by a crazed madman who has no qualms about killing his own men), lol!

And, for a beginning fiction author, I think you're doing a marvelous job, especially given what all of the other reviewers have been saying! I'm not going to say "don't second-guess yourself" b/c I do that all the time (being a perfectionist is very hard, lol!) and I think that sometimes better ideas just pop into one's head along the line--part of a flowing creative process (even tho I too like to plan everything out ahead of time). Still, I think you're doing an excellent job so far with what you've planned so perhaps you shouldn't start second-guessing now...sorry I had that affect on you, but at least it keeps you on your toes! And, you know, "Damn the Torpedoes!" and all that rot, lol!

Anyway, now gotta go read/watch something happy to get my mind off of these events (in the story), lol! (wow, lots of lol-ing this time, lol!)

NOOOO! DEVIN! Poor Jayden D: and the fighting scene was good, no need for you to worry about that.
I both love and hate cliffhangers. While it's a great end of a chapter that makes you want to read the next, you know you'll have to endure some time before you get the next. Arrgh!

School is draining my energy D: imagine yourself sitting 2½ hours in a classroom, listening to a man with greyish hair squeek on about security alarms and the different sorts of alarms. And then, knowing that you have another 6 hours left of school and no one to talk to during those hours.

I'm quickly growing tired of the constant cliff hangers... straighten up your act and write a decent chapter or don't update until you have it finished. You're loosing this reader right now.

Gwar!
I saw that coming... but not. SO it's good! I just wow! //how did Chris manage to still stay behind? or is it b/c Zachs true intent was to get Devin? I guess so...
HOLY SHIZZAH. thanks for the update knowledge by the way =)
can I expect some yummy ash / dev N/C going on or no?
poor jayden. and thomas =(

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO love it love it love it Don't know what you mean the chaos and destruction was written nicely pat yourself your awesome. I was so relieved that Chris is okay whew I was worried for a bit but Devin poor wonderful Devin and sweet Jayden oh so much pain and angst love it. Although makes me wonder what Omega plans to do with Devin inteeereeesssttiinnggggg. I hooted when Zachary caught it yyyeaaahhh couln not stand that guy what a slutty creep. Thomas well he's just had his priorities screwed up happens if you lose your whole family so tragically. His heart was in the right place it was his execution that was screwed up loved how you did it though weeeeeeeeeeh Sorry he had to die though but now he'll be with his family. Thank you thank you thank you for the update I practically jumped up and down in total anticipation. I am so glad your feeling better stay healthy can't afford to have such a great imagination get sick on us the world needs it. Waiting breathlessly for your next awesome update thank you thank you thank you again and again. hugs

It seems weird that humans would align themselves Victor Ashcroft seeing as he wants to enslave them and whatnot, but I guess they think they'll be the exception to the rule. Like they can trust him to keep his promise to NOT enslave them or something after he takes over Aurora and Earth? Or maybe Jayden will forget how much he wasn't in love with Zachary and was just using him UNTIL his mate came back? Is Zachary blind or delusional? Does he believe that what he and Jayden had was actually love and if Devin was gone that Jayden would go, "well Devin's gone now, Guess I've got no choice but to hitch my dick back to Zachary." is that what he really thinks will happen only with Jayden on his knees begging Zachary to take him back? I'm starting to think that there is a thin line between being in love and being delusional with Zachary.

I like how you backtracked in this chapter. Letting us know exactly how Chris and Paul were knocked out and also who was where during the fighting and attempting kidnapping. I also like how you made Councilor Thomas seem like a bad guy at first, but had him fighting to protect Devin in the end. He may have been kidnapping Chris for some crazy, misguided attempt to protect Chris and Aurora, but he really redeemed himself and his honor when it counted. I like characters like that. They may be small roles, but the parts they play always bring some kind of heart to story that I really enjoy.

I can't wait for the next chapter. Update as soon as you can.

I HATE YOU!HATTEEEEE! ;_; My poor Devin...