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July 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Soooo ... I just had a peek at your story, out of curiosity and I have to say I've never laughed so hard in my life!
In your initial chapters you have so many mistakes that they made me go >_< but that could be gotten rid of with some good beta, which I'm advising you to get.
But the thing that made me laugh was the sheer number of orgasms that poor girl had. Like 5 orgasms in a row! Wow, you know, I've read an article about a woman who had this DISEASE which made her come like 20 times a day, due to ... well, never mind BUT my point is you CAN'T really have 5-6 orgasms in a matter of a few minutes if it isn't some kind of health problem. Even if you're multi-orgasmic, it's not pysically possible to come as often. And secondly, the dog. Yeah ... No, I'm not going to harp about bestiality, after all you put fair warnings but that would be one hell of an intelligent dog to do things like that! And what a sex fiend! Always finding the right spots! O_O Is it some genetic hybrid or something? Like some superdog? He has a radar in his nose? Or in his penis? And that stamina of his *shakes head*
Sorry, like I said, I treated it more like a comedy than smut because >_< I have very high standards for scenes involving sex. I have no problems with most of things you can encounter while reading erotica but it has to be plausible, unless it's some weird mix of science-fiction/fantasy where the laws of physics are quite different from what we know in our world.
In your initial chapters you have so many mistakes that they made me go >_< but that could be gotten rid of with some good beta, which I'm advising you to get.
But the thing that made me laugh was the sheer number of orgasms that poor girl had. Like 5 orgasms in a row! Wow, you know, I've read an article about a woman who had this DISEASE which made her come like 20 times a day, due to ... well, never mind BUT my point is you CAN'T really have 5-6 orgasms in a matter of a few minutes if it isn't some kind of health problem. Even if you're multi-orgasmic, it's not pysically possible to come as often. And secondly, the dog. Yeah ... No, I'm not going to harp about bestiality, after all you put fair warnings but that would be one hell of an intelligent dog to do things like that! And what a sex fiend! Always finding the right spots! O_O Is it some genetic hybrid or something? Like some superdog? He has a radar in his nose? Or in his penis? And that stamina of his *shakes head*
Sorry, like I said, I treated it more like a comedy than smut because >_< I have very high standards for scenes involving sex. I have no problems with most of things you can encounter while reading erotica but it has to be plausible, unless it's some weird mix of science-fiction/fantasy where the laws of physics are quite different from what we know in our world.
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July 21, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Excellent
I'm a little hooked.
Please write more
I'm a little hooked.
Please write more
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June 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
please keep going :) this is awsome
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May 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Great! Can't wait to see what's next.
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May 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
God that is so fucking hot. Please, update soon. I love this story. It's so hot. Two huge dogs...mmm...please, update soon. I only check AF for this story.
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May 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This was good! I really hope that you continue, please continue!
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April 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Horny and cute!
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April 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I love it. Please continue. Can't wait for the beast part, I hope it's a big dog ;)