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March 22, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Please Please Please Update this! I love it! :)
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March 21, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I just happened to stumble upon this story and I am in love with it! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE update it! This is really sweet and I want to know what happens to the boys!
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August 8, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Mm... Nice.
Just something I'd like to point out. You can still edit your chapters after you post them on AFF. I mean, like how in the first chapter, Kyle's name is Greg? You can still go back and change that.
Also, i remember reading this on fictionpress a while ago. Possibly... Anyway, i remember reading it before, and I don't remember how far I actually got, but I could've sworn that Aidan told Kyle he wasn't doing the bet anymore, and so Kyle went to the coach to get him off the team, but the coach basically waved him off. Urk...
Either way, love your story :)
Just something I'd like to point out. You can still edit your chapters after you post them on AFF. I mean, like how in the first chapter, Kyle's name is Greg? You can still go back and change that.
Also, i remember reading this on fictionpress a while ago. Possibly... Anyway, i remember reading it before, and I don't remember how far I actually got, but I could've sworn that Aidan told Kyle he wasn't doing the bet anymore, and so Kyle went to the coach to get him off the team, but the coach basically waved him off. Urk...
Either way, love your story :)
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August 7, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Hey, for never writing smut, you certainly did an awesome job!!! :)
Absolutely LOVED the puppy! Great Xmas gift!
I noticed you don't like apostrophe's with contractions. lol Angels lips should be Angel's lips, etc. Also the bow weighed down the puppy, not wayed. There are also mixed tenses, such as using "ed" at the end of the verb. For example: move should be moved (I'm not giving examples from the chapter), run should be running, stuff like that. If you want me to look it over before you post it, let me know. LisaT25@msn.com
Other than that, it was awesome!
Absolutely LOVED the puppy! Great Xmas gift!
I noticed you don't like apostrophe's with contractions. lol Angels lips should be Angel's lips, etc. Also the bow weighed down the puppy, not wayed. There are also mixed tenses, such as using "ed" at the end of the verb. For example: move should be moved (I'm not giving examples from the chapter), run should be running, stuff like that. If you want me to look it over before you post it, let me know. LisaT25@msn.com
Other than that, it was awesome!
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August 7, 2010 at 12:00 AM
omo, omo look who's back on aff!
Welcome back&thanks for bringing this story closer to its end.
Wow, what will Kyle do?
Btw. ease off with the angelness of Riley&Jamie almost every short&petit person(male or female) who I met in life was like a small box of potent poison. Everyone has their insecurity and complexes of inferiority.
Ans short and petite ppl tend to "compensate" their cuteness with rotten personality because mother nature didn't puff up their abbs or their biceps.
Man, it's like plants everyone seems to think it's okay to kill it(detach it from the soil, take its seed and stuffs)and eat it and use it for whatnot because they're so benevolent and tra la let's protect the environment.
Hahahaha y'know when I get lost in my forest I'm fine.But foreigners aren't.
and you'd think the big tall buff fugly fat bears would eat them, but wtf man( it would be funny if it wasn't tragic) it's always the plants.Effing plants, man.
So how about you shape up ypur pretty boys into something that's more then angel beauty.
Also, how can Aiden throw his future away because of love(man, that's bull I personally worked my ass off for something my entire life ad every f* dude that ever approached me kissed the door instead of me so I know for a fact that kid(Aiden) in real life would maybe see that it's stupid doing things Kyle's way bbut no way in hell would he turn into Mother Theresa so fast. It seems to me you're rushing your story a bit.
And in your rush to reach the finish line(end) you're getting sloppy in character development.
he plot is good but for us to feel for Aiden or Ry(who is currently only the cause of my annoyance together with his sibling Jamie) after Kyle tears into everyone about the bet.
So, take your time, rewrite if you feel like but it's just you're back after a year the story was promising you be ours truly gorgeous writer and deliver the goodies, okay;))
Welcome back&thanks for bringing this story closer to its end.
Wow, what will Kyle do?
Btw. ease off with the angelness of Riley&Jamie almost every short&petit person(male or female) who I met in life was like a small box of potent poison. Everyone has their insecurity and complexes of inferiority.
Ans short and petite ppl tend to "compensate" their cuteness with rotten personality because mother nature didn't puff up their abbs or their biceps.
Man, it's like plants everyone seems to think it's okay to kill it(detach it from the soil, take its seed and stuffs)and eat it and use it for whatnot because they're so benevolent and tra la let's protect the environment.
Hahahaha y'know when I get lost in my forest I'm fine.But foreigners aren't.
and you'd think the big tall buff fugly fat bears would eat them, but wtf man( it would be funny if it wasn't tragic) it's always the plants.Effing plants, man.
So how about you shape up ypur pretty boys into something that's more then angel beauty.
Also, how can Aiden throw his future away because of love(man, that's bull I personally worked my ass off for something my entire life ad every f* dude that ever approached me kissed the door instead of me so I know for a fact that kid(Aiden) in real life would maybe see that it's stupid doing things Kyle's way bbut no way in hell would he turn into Mother Theresa so fast. It seems to me you're rushing your story a bit.
And in your rush to reach the finish line(end) you're getting sloppy in character development.
he plot is good but for us to feel for Aiden or Ry(who is currently only the cause of my annoyance together with his sibling Jamie) after Kyle tears into everyone about the bet.
So, take your time, rewrite if you feel like but it's just you're back after a year the story was promising you be ours truly gorgeous writer and deliver the goodies, okay;))
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August 4, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I sat down and read this all in one sitting...at least up to what you have out and am in love with it! The characters are amazing and the can feel the tnesion and drama. I cant wait to see what Kyle is going to do and how everyone will react...although i can probably see where the ending is going...which is something in happy about...i love stories with lots of drama, tears, heartache and betrayal...as long as the happt ending comes when its supposed to. lol Keep writing. I would for you to e-mail me when the next chapter comes out...
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August 2, 2010 at 12:00 AM
No, definitely reading about Scott and Jamie and how their relationship is progressing is good.
I must tell you: the last lines of the chapter made me cry! :) OMG, it was so sweet. You know, I can't remember why Aiden made that stupid bet w/Kyle. I know it had to do w/being the captian of the basketball team and how Aiden needed a basketball scholarship in order to go to college. But he had to be the captian? That part I don't understand. And why won't Kyle tell Aiden why he hates Ryley, b/c of his ex-girlfriend, right? She was so taken w/Ryley and broke up w/Kyle, something like that?
Anyway, great chapter! I can see where meeting Ryley's family would be totally intimidating. These world famous media people, living in the gorgeous apartment; anyone would be anxious and intimidated!
Well, can't wait to find out how Aiden's gonna break the bet w/that asshole Kyle!
Oh, and btw: there were a few typos here and there, no biggie. I didn't write them down, so I only remember one: Ryley's burgandy sweeter is supposed to be sweater. In case you wanted to go back and change it.
Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter!
I must tell you: the last lines of the chapter made me cry! :) OMG, it was so sweet. You know, I can't remember why Aiden made that stupid bet w/Kyle. I know it had to do w/being the captian of the basketball team and how Aiden needed a basketball scholarship in order to go to college. But he had to be the captian? That part I don't understand. And why won't Kyle tell Aiden why he hates Ryley, b/c of his ex-girlfriend, right? She was so taken w/Ryley and broke up w/Kyle, something like that?
Anyway, great chapter! I can see where meeting Ryley's family would be totally intimidating. These world famous media people, living in the gorgeous apartment; anyone would be anxious and intimidated!
Well, can't wait to find out how Aiden's gonna break the bet w/that asshole Kyle!
Oh, and btw: there were a few typos here and there, no biggie. I didn't write them down, so I only remember one: Ryley's burgandy sweeter is supposed to be sweater. In case you wanted to go back and change it.
Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter!
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August 1, 2010 at 12:00 AM
hai der xP
... So this is a first, reviewing here on aff LOL -fail- D:
Buuh n e wayz XD
I so wana smack Aiden ryt now TToTT . lol :)
Liking ur story, keep updating :D
- xNicky <3
... So this is a first, reviewing here on aff LOL -fail- D:
Buuh n e wayz XD
I so wana smack Aiden ryt now TToTT . lol :)
Liking ur story, keep updating :D
- xNicky <3
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July 31, 2010 at 12:00 AM
Of course I'm still reading this! Silly! I also think you'll get a lot of new readers now, b/c they'll be interested in your summary and read the story from the beginning.
Awesome chapter; I was so nervous when Kyle cornered Aiden. I was afraid Ryley was there and he would have heard everything. It's bad enough Kyle recorded their conversation, God only knows what he's gonna do with it.
I feel so bad for Ryley; he's so oblivious to what's happening w/Aiden and Kyle, but boy, when the shit hits the fan, I wouldn't want to be there!
And poor Aiden; he's really falling for Ryley and he knows he's gonna hurt him really bad.
I can't wait for the next chapter! And thx. for updating so quickly!!
Awesome chapter; I was so nervous when Kyle cornered Aiden. I was afraid Ryley was there and he would have heard everything. It's bad enough Kyle recorded their conversation, God only knows what he's gonna do with it.
I feel so bad for Ryley; he's so oblivious to what's happening w/Aiden and Kyle, but boy, when the shit hits the fan, I wouldn't want to be there!
And poor Aiden; he's really falling for Ryley and he knows he's gonna hurt him really bad.
I can't wait for the next chapter! And thx. for updating so quickly!!
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July 31, 2010 at 12:00 AM
amazing story!! I just read the whole thing, and it's really got my attention now!!
I hate Kyle!! He's such a pain....
and Aiden!! Why is he acting so cold?? can't he just tell Ryley the truth how he feels about him and just call off the bet with Kyle?
looking forward to the next chapter! hope it's up soon!
can't wait!! :)
I hate Kyle!! He's such a pain....
and Aiden!! Why is he acting so cold?? can't he just tell Ryley the truth how he feels about him and just call off the bet with Kyle?
looking forward to the next chapter! hope it's up soon!
can't wait!! :)