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for Her Dark Paramour

by Monddame

schedule March 2, 2009 at 12:00 AM
If I were her, I'd die of embarrassment (no pun intended) trying to recount what happened. I imagine it's like explaining to your parents what your first sexual experience was like, in all its gruesome glory. LOL
person AnaStas
schedule February 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Another wonderful chapter. I've never heard anyone describe death in shades of gray before. Major kudos to you! :
schedule February 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Awww...it's so adorable how polite Ariana is, even after drinking a man's blood! LOL
person AnaStas
schedule February 15, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Amazing! I just read chapters 1-16 and I'm so excited that I found a great story on AFF. I had stopped coming here for a while because there were a lot of crappy stories and good ones that got abandoned - I'm so happy you decided to keep going with this one. I love the characters, the plot is great, and your execution is fantastic! I've totally booked marked this work and will be stopping by regularly to check for updates ;)
schedule February 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I'm a professional editor, and I can tell you before you shop this project, you must minimize the passive voice and correct the POV errors. Editors will accept them from tested authors with an established fan base. But, not from an unknown.

These are easily fixed problems, and no reason to become discouraged.

If you want to discuss changes necessary to give this ms its best market face, you may email me. StonehedgeEditor@aol.com

Best,
KD
schedule February 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 15: Thank goodness Edric finally made up with her! Great chapter :D
schedule February 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Now THAT'S an apology! :p
schedule February 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoyed reading this story so far.
I can't wait to see what happens next.
Please do keep up the great work you do. :)
schedule February 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Sorry if I tend over-analyze things or ask random questions. I'm in college as an English major, so I always tend to look at texts like I'm supposed to be looking for something that might not actually be there. I guess that's not the worst fault a person could possess. LOL
schedule February 4, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Edric needs a swift kick in the ass.