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January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Why I like your story:
-long chapters (Hell Yeah!)
-quick updates (double Hell Yeah!)
-witty and sarcastic humour (my fav)
-characters: espesially main. Muffin is just an ordinary boy and Ash is a *little* disturbing bad boy. 99% of those kind of stories are about innocent but smart and well mannered boys being rescued by powerfull good men. Which is boring and not exactly belivable. Your story is so refreshing and I can actually imagine story like that being true. For me, their behaviour is LOGICAL, even when what they do is strange, they`re human beings, not some artificial, perfect people.
-it`s well written, there`s not even one boring part and every word counts
-it`s full with those little, memorable things, that I love in good literature, like the coulours and smells of various things, (pijamas with muffins and green converse). I love details, they fuel my imagination ^^
-emotions. Whoa, this story is packed with them. What I like the most is how Muffinis being undone by simple smile and those snake, freezing stares of Ash.
Good job, Honey, keep going (and please keep that wonderful updating pace!) Love
-long chapters (Hell Yeah!)
-quick updates (double Hell Yeah!)
-witty and sarcastic humour (my fav)
-characters: espesially main. Muffin is just an ordinary boy and Ash is a *little* disturbing bad boy. 99% of those kind of stories are about innocent but smart and well mannered boys being rescued by powerfull good men. Which is boring and not exactly belivable. Your story is so refreshing and I can actually imagine story like that being true. For me, their behaviour is LOGICAL, even when what they do is strange, they`re human beings, not some artificial, perfect people.
-it`s well written, there`s not even one boring part and every word counts
-it`s full with those little, memorable things, that I love in good literature, like the coulours and smells of various things, (pijamas with muffins and green converse). I love details, they fuel my imagination ^^
-emotions. Whoa, this story is packed with them. What I like the most is how Muffinis being undone by simple smile and those snake, freezing stares of Ash.
Good job, Honey, keep going (and please keep that wonderful updating pace!) Love
schedule
January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Oh...WOW...wow...
Firstly, damn you updated fast, good work!
Secondly, why do you have to kill Porto? (in a small-sad-little-girl's voice that I know would work better on punching guilt on s/o gut that the angry mob's roar of "WHY KILL PORTO,YOU!") XD
I really thought that Porto would be Muffin's only link to his 'world',so to say, when he was and will be forced to be in Ash's...But as the author, I believe that you have your own reasons, and Porto was, endearing, the short time I got to know it, and I feel bad for Muffin on his lost...But I kind of glad that Asher is the one who killed Porto, it will bring the emotional link to both of them or at least to Muffin I think...hmm...
Thirdly, The shower scene was
H
O
T
and really call for a fanart...That foreshadow how their smex scene would be, I believe XD
you did an overall wonderful job b(>.<)
ps. I think my review for the last chapter wasn't posted, so I'll review here;
Love, love love MuffinXWario's banter please hold on to them longer...
The plot is thicken, you really indulge your plot loving readers, and you have made your fic enjoyable without the need to throw in smex scenes on every chapter...frankly, sometimes too much smex would greatly hinder plot development...
pps. Fanart XD...the thought came to me suddenly while I was lunching...'Muffin covered in ash and Ash eating a muffin' this one here is Muffin side http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i239/ngakirakira/1copy.jpg
and this is without him without the ash
http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i239/ngakirakira/muff.jpg
I can't do justice to him, sorry, but tell me what you think of it...
I'll post Ash side on my next review (or next2-3-4-5 etc review,depending how fast I can finish it...I'm lazy most of the time mind you, so very lazy..)
wow, longest review I've ever written...
cheers...
Firstly, damn you updated fast, good work!
Secondly, why do you have to kill Porto? (in a small-sad-little-girl's voice that I know would work better on punching guilt on s/o gut that the angry mob's roar of "WHY KILL PORTO,YOU!") XD
I really thought that Porto would be Muffin's only link to his 'world',so to say, when he was and will be forced to be in Ash's...But as the author, I believe that you have your own reasons, and Porto was, endearing, the short time I got to know it, and I feel bad for Muffin on his lost...But I kind of glad that Asher is the one who killed Porto, it will bring the emotional link to both of them or at least to Muffin I think...hmm...
Thirdly, The shower scene was
H
O
T
and really call for a fanart...That foreshadow how their smex scene would be, I believe XD
you did an overall wonderful job b(>.<)
ps. I think my review for the last chapter wasn't posted, so I'll review here;
Love, love love MuffinXWario's banter please hold on to them longer...
The plot is thicken, you really indulge your plot loving readers, and you have made your fic enjoyable without the need to throw in smex scenes on every chapter...frankly, sometimes too much smex would greatly hinder plot development...
pps. Fanart XD...the thought came to me suddenly while I was lunching...'Muffin covered in ash and Ash eating a muffin' this one here is Muffin side http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i239/ngakirakira/1copy.jpg
and this is without him without the ash
http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i239/ngakirakira/muff.jpg
I can't do justice to him, sorry, but tell me what you think of it...
I'll post Ash side on my next review (or next2-3-4-5 etc review,depending how fast I can finish it...I'm lazy most of the time mind you, so very lazy..)
wow, longest review I've ever written...
cheers...
schedule
January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I think my review for the last chapter wasn't posted, so I'll review here;
Love, love love MuffinXWario's banter please hold on to them longer
The plot is thicken, you really indulge your plot loving readers, and you have made your fic enjoyable without the need to throw in smex scenes on every chapter frankly, sometimes too much smex would greatly hinder plot development
ps. Fanart XD...the thought came to me suddenly while I was lunching;'Muffin covered in ash and Ash eating a muffin' this one here is Muffin side http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i239/ngakirakira/1copy.jpg
and this is without him without the ash
http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i239/ngakirakira/muff.jpg
I can't do justice to him, sorry, but tell me what you think of it...
I'll post Ash side on my next review (or next2-3-4-5 etc review,depending how fast I can finish it...I'm lazy most of the time mind you, so very lazy..)
Love, love love MuffinXWario's banter please hold on to them longer
The plot is thicken, you really indulge your plot loving readers, and you have made your fic enjoyable without the need to throw in smex scenes on every chapter frankly, sometimes too much smex would greatly hinder plot development
ps. Fanart XD...the thought came to me suddenly while I was lunching;'Muffin covered in ash and Ash eating a muffin' this one here is Muffin side http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i239/ngakirakira/1copy.jpg
and this is without him without the ash
http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i239/ngakirakira/muff.jpg
I can't do justice to him, sorry, but tell me what you think of it...
I'll post Ash side on my next review (or next2-3-4-5 etc review,depending how fast I can finish it...I'm lazy most of the time mind you, so very lazy..)
schedule
January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
More Muffins please: Pumpkin, Pecan, Orange, Chocolate and more Lemon Muffins "Can You dig it?" The number of Muffins are endless, don't stop cooking up something exciting and tasty... your story is great, just don't stop! G
schedule
January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This is by far THE most interesting fic I've read in a long time and that's saying a lot considering how much time I spend reading. The plot line is so intriguing it keeps me on the edge of my seat. Character development is HUGE especially between the two main. I have fallen in love with Muffin and all his twists and turns....he has got to be the most interesting character ever and the developing relationship between him and Asher is pure genius. I honestly couldn't imagine Muffin ending up with anybody BUT Asher. Now don't hate me but personally I was glad to see Porto go...I found him distracting especially when I wanted nothing but Asher/Muffin interaction. I do think he was a great plot device which I am hoping leads to some highly entertaining angst and story continuity. I am also LOVING the sexual undercurrent/tension that is developing between Asher and Muffin.
All I can say is at this point and time I hope this fic goes on for a LONG time and not to sound cliche or pushy...can't wait for the next update!!
All I can say is at this point and time I hope this fic goes on for a LONG time and not to sound cliche or pushy...can't wait for the next update!!
schedule
January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I really love your story. I have been reading as soon as you update. I just can't wait to see what happens next. And the fact that they have not had sex yet is a good thing I think. I just keep reading wonder when they are going to get it on. hehe. Great work.
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January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Ok, I am really freaked out now!.... Poor little Muffin!.... About Porto, I wished you didn't have Asher shoot him..... A dog can survive with a broken rib cage.... I hope there will be a miracle... maybe Asher had Alrick take Porto to the Vets... Asher has the dough to pay for it.... right?... Porto's not dead?... Pretty please.... Asher didn't want Muffin's heart to be broken anymore than it was at the loss of his beloved pooch so he let him think he had to shoot him just in case Porto actually didn't make it.... Maybe by end of story, Muffin will have a big surprise?...
or maybe a new puppy?.....
Well, now that I got that off my chest, I really loved this chapter. The shower scene between Muffin/Asher... OMG!.... Poor little sweet virginal Muffin..... so innocent... so ready to be taken by Asher... I am a little bit suprised that
Asher didn't realise that little Muffin is a virgin... very suprised...
I am also beginning to wonder just what it is that Asher is involved in..... Why for all that's holy would he have taken Muffin into harms path?... Alrick seemed to be the only one who cared that Muffin might get hurt.... for a brief moment I even thought that gun toting broad might have been Liza out to get Muffin....
I think I caught a little glimpse of Muffin's past..... his Mom....an accident?....
Well, I am off to munch on a muffin waiting until you update next chapter.
I really love this story and how you are developing it.
or maybe a new puppy?.....
Well, now that I got that off my chest, I really loved this chapter. The shower scene between Muffin/Asher... OMG!.... Poor little sweet virginal Muffin..... so innocent... so ready to be taken by Asher... I am a little bit suprised that
Asher didn't realise that little Muffin is a virgin... very suprised...
I am also beginning to wonder just what it is that Asher is involved in..... Why for all that's holy would he have taken Muffin into harms path?... Alrick seemed to be the only one who cared that Muffin might get hurt.... for a brief moment I even thought that gun toting broad might have been Liza out to get Muffin....
I think I caught a little glimpse of Muffin's past..... his Mom....an accident?....
Well, I am off to munch on a muffin waiting until you update next chapter.
I really love this story and how you are developing it.
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January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
By all that is holy, stop writing so damn well! My god, never have I read such a story that would make my emotions twist up in a gooey ball of ambivalence such as this one. One moment I’m incredibly excited (and sometimes /too/ excited, if you get what I mean), then the next I have such deep hatred for your characters. This last chapter left my eyes wide open and my mouth slack-jawed. I really will miss Porto.
You have me hooked, because every afternoon I log onto my computer, just to check if you updated. If you didn’t update as well as you have, I think I might have gone completely insane! I feel absolutely pathetic to be so…addicted…to a story, but truly, I am not afraid to admit it. Your writing style/format is near flawless, and that just adds to the greatness of this story.
I have yet to decide if I like Asher yet (mainly because I don’t like how he treats Muffin, which infuriates me to no end because he’s supposedly so damn charming) But Muffin is just…a good change from all the overly innocent woman-like ‘faggots’ in most slash stories. (I love him. xD) The bodyguards are wonderful as well. They add good comic relief to the story.
…Hell, maybe you ‘boy’ will end up with one of them! That doesn’t seem unlikely.
Please write more and just as well as you have. I really was kidding with my opening statement.
Peace&Love;
Em
You have me hooked, because every afternoon I log onto my computer, just to check if you updated. If you didn’t update as well as you have, I think I might have gone completely insane! I feel absolutely pathetic to be so…addicted…to a story, but truly, I am not afraid to admit it. Your writing style/format is near flawless, and that just adds to the greatness of this story.
I have yet to decide if I like Asher yet (mainly because I don’t like how he treats Muffin, which infuriates me to no end because he’s supposedly so damn charming) But Muffin is just…a good change from all the overly innocent woman-like ‘faggots’ in most slash stories. (I love him. xD) The bodyguards are wonderful as well. They add good comic relief to the story.
…Hell, maybe you ‘boy’ will end up with one of them! That doesn’t seem unlikely.
Please write more and just as well as you have. I really was kidding with my opening statement.
Peace&Love;
Em
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January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Wow! That was a good chapter, although I feel really bad about Porto dying, he was such a cute and good little dog. But finally we have some action between Asher and Muffin, and that was definitely DELICIOUS!!!!
Loved it!
Loved it!
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January 23, 2009 at 12:00 AM
poor porto.
but omg. i can't believe muffin doesn't know how to masturbate!!! that was cute how asher helped him learn something *new*. hheeeehheee....
anyway, i never said or typed this but i've got to say, you're really good at storytelling. when i read this chapter i couldn't help but notice how well you describe things, and sometimes in such an artful manner. i think it makes the story read even better. sometimes there are authors who are really good at writing and descriptions, but then they drag on and on and i can quickly skim over their work without really feeling left out of the loop. but for this piece it's like i have to read every paragraph in order to understand things, and it keeps my interest going (aka, your descriptions/plots feel like they're going/getting somewhere). great work!
i hope asher gets muffin a new puppy. muffin deserves one! or at least a replacement of sorts...maybe asher can become his dog. lol. i can't wait to find out what the rich dude actually does for a living, and what all these dangerous situations are about. can't wait for the next chapter! actually i can, but yeah. wooo!!! more!!!!
but omg. i can't believe muffin doesn't know how to masturbate!!! that was cute how asher helped him learn something *new*. hheeeehheee....
anyway, i never said or typed this but i've got to say, you're really good at storytelling. when i read this chapter i couldn't help but notice how well you describe things, and sometimes in such an artful manner. i think it makes the story read even better. sometimes there are authors who are really good at writing and descriptions, but then they drag on and on and i can quickly skim over their work without really feeling left out of the loop. but for this piece it's like i have to read every paragraph in order to understand things, and it keeps my interest going (aka, your descriptions/plots feel like they're going/getting somewhere). great work!
i hope asher gets muffin a new puppy. muffin deserves one! or at least a replacement of sorts...maybe asher can become his dog. lol. i can't wait to find out what the rich dude actually does for a living, and what all these dangerous situations are about. can't wait for the next chapter! actually i can, but yeah. wooo!!! more!!!!