rate_review Reviews

I'm glad you did a second chapter. I know you just had a scene that you wanted to get out and you were pressured into extending it (and you extended it so well). The problem is that this just doesn't feel emotionally finished, there's no resolution. You walk us up just shy of the climax and then stop. And by climax I don't mean sex: I mean that point where Murphy decides, yes, I can live with this. It's okay after all. I don't need to be on guard every second waiting for that next shoe to drop.

So I know you don't want to be pressured into another chapter, but I'm going to push you that way anyway. :P

I was hoping beyond hope that I would see a second chapter. So now I fell allowed to hope foe a third. Yes I know : give me a hand, I will ask for the arm... But still : Please, please, please...:-)
Bye
M

Bos means bare footed on serbian,croatian,slovenian,albanian,in Bosnia and in montenegro etc. etc.
i've never heard of anyone naming their child like that and i'm Slavic.

Also, never heard of the name Drag, it's usually Drago and the o in the name is very much important
cause the name means dear one;to be glad or whatever.

nice to see a serbian charahter in a story;)

i've never realy understood the need of ppl to stack all Slavic ppl into Russians(and as the largest ethnic tribe in Europe there is a shitload of them,Russians being like 2/10 on the list)
or that Russians are always dangerous and up to no good*laughs*

and let's not forget how they can't talk English without sounding like morons-ROFL
specially since i'm around Slavs all the time and none of them sound any different then any British/American speaking person.
Their English is simply flawless*awed*

but that's all besides the point, after all i'm here to review your story not your knowledge of Serbian/Slavic names or the usual cliches and stereotypes(which are founded on something, always on something)
so, i like your story.
because he's traditional and wants a wife.
that's so true.
a part of a male population only sees females as wifes-something you can use to have a child&to have someone to cook and cleanup after your child&and you.
that's a sad picture of the old patriarchal traditional family but there's no denying it is what it is.
it will be very interesting for me to see how a male person fits in that kind of role(a carrier for the children and a servant-slave in the house)


i don't need to praise you, this idea you had with turning tables on genders is highly inovative, interesting, and breath taking and by now(with so many reviews) you're well aware of it.
November was slightly disturbing in a dark way, i like August much better.
Cause Novemeber had em really confused, there was so much death and ppl who couldn't deal with their situation...creepy.

it seems this story as november and august are a kind of hommage to the females who are actually living what you're describing in your stories only there's nothing shocking about their lives because through the growth of our civilization into what it is now, we're convinced it is perfectly normal and beautiful to have your entire self modified and you're life priorities changed just because your body is biologically engineered to carry another life inside of it and deliver it safely.

and you've turned the now "normal" "it is understood" into something never heard of and odd in a negative way
and i applaud you for that.
keep up the good work.
for all the backstabbing gossiping bitches they are, girls are still just girls.

hi, lividfire -

I was actually wondering if/when that would come up. Bos and Drag aren't real names, you're right - both characters are named after friends of mine; the names, along with a few in November, are little inside shout-outs. And you're right about the all-Slavs-are-Russian, all-Russians-are-shady thing; I actually intentionally wrote Cal's interior monologue with that in mind, as it was a mindset that I encountered quite frequently in my childhood, and seems to be common in many Americans. (It should also be noted that, all brusqueness aside, Miljan and his group are probably the most innocuous collection of characters in the story - with the exception of the now-dead insane Anton.)

I'm sure it will come up later, and I am intending to make a chapter detailing the cultural intricacies and geopolitics of this AU, but here's a little bonus info: Post-catastrophe, the world has greatly consolidated, eradicating the boundaries of most small countries and merging regionally into mega-nations. The U.S.A., Mexico, and Canada, for example, are merged almost entirely into one massive super-nation - that's why Ortega is referred to as "a Southerner" and why Anders asks Cadmus if the 30 dollars he wants is in "Northern money" or not.

Most of the states of western Europe have followed suit (If you remember, in November, Honesty is sent home with an A.W.N.S - Allied Western Nation States - diplomat). The United Arab Emirates has expanded to include most of the peninsula, as far north as Turkey and east as Afghanistan - these have maintained the name "the Emirates." Russia, China, and India have all taken over large swatches of adjacent territory, with Russia taking everything from Finland in basically a straight line (along the borders of Poland, Slovakia, Hungary)down to the Serbian coast. Bosnia & Herzegovina and Croatia are disputed territories. Greece & Cyprus belong to the Emirates.

Anyway, I say all that to warn you that world cultures are going to be a bit more blended than they currently are. It's not that I don't understand and greatly respect the unique cultural heritage of each ethnic group - it's just reflective of what has happened in this AU.

but livid, all that said...always feel free to correct me if I write something completely off. That goes for every one of you readers, particularly those who speak or are familiar with the following languages and cultures: Igbo, Korean, Spanish (particularly if you are knowledgable about regional dialects and accents), Arabic, Serbian, Cajun French, Gullah, Italian or Swedish.

Just saw this story, and I really love both of the chapters so far! Thanks so much. So glad to have another branch of the story.

Hope you continue with this! You really have a knack of ratcheting up the tension until we readers can barely breathe.

Another great installment to November. id love to hear more from Cadet Murphy.

"It seemed he was doomed to look irrevocably well-fed."

This is my all time favorite line I have got to find the occasion to use it.

Thanks Kabi :) I miss the November folks, especially the Slovic folk. They were a strange bunch!!