rate_review Reviews

You are definitely one of my favorite authors in the genre "straight shotacon".

wonderful!! More please!!

She should get pregnant at end.

Reviewing chapter 4: Very nice wrap-up. Once again, smooth, strong writing, with plenty of funny stuff. The line "You're not really selling her. When you go to the movies, you're not buying the theater, right? Just paying to use it for a while." is absolutely classic! You have a talent for humor.

I was a bit disappointed by the end, though. I was hoping for some sort of resolution. Instead the story kind of just trails off.

Best part was probably the one-on-one between Josh and Ashley. That scene really makes you see this whole story as sort of a twisted sibling bonding between the two of them. You know, brother and sister hate each other at first, but through some adventure they discover they have something in common and that they love each other. Only in this case the "adventure" is sex! Very interesting.

Ho. My. God. Only 2 words for ya. Fucking. Hot.

I can't even get into how steamy and amazing this was. Yes, I'm one of the odd ones who finds that sorta thing totally arousing. You wrote it so well. Amazing job!

Samara

*goes to check all your other stories*

Reviewing chapter 3: Woot, awesome! Your building of the plot in this one is even better than the first two. It's always fun to see Josh and friends slowly coming towards another of their crazy schemes. I was really wondering how they were going to make Ashley do it with Phil, and your solution was ingenious. The image of Ashley handcuffed to the bed, and then they let Phil come out... classic.

The way you intro that part is good, too, putting it in mid-conversation "Cuffs?" Good writing.

And Phil is hilarious! Just the thought of a 9-year-old who would say "I want to get laid" put a clear image of him in my mind, and boy, did that image make me laugh. The part where he asks "And she's your sister?" was great, too. How awkward for Josh. But my favorite line of his is "Not like my hand at all!" Priceless.

Just one question... What are face/tits? Are those her nostrils? Please tell me those aren't her eyes...

Reviewing chapter 2: Pretty good. I have to say this chapter is a lot less impressive than the first, mainly because it doesn't have nearly the sheer onslaught of comedic lines like "We'd definitely have to research this a little more when we were done" that the first chapter had. However, the way Ashley for no reason abruptly changes her mind about Josh screwing her is unbelievable. Actually, I'd think when she woke up, the first thing she'd be aware of is the good feeling of sex, not that her brother is doing it to her without permission. In other words, if what Josh was doing really felt good to her, she should have felt that from the start and only later registered that what he was doing was perverted.

The set-up for the action here is great though, maybe even a little bit better than the first one. The boys getting the idea from a Bond movie is amusing, and I chuckled at the thought of these kids emptying out the change from their piggy banks onto the store counter to pay for a bottle of chloroform. Good stuff. Ashley calling the outcome of the coin toss is a nice touch, too.

awesome story. please continue.

I must say that this story is pretty interesting. I'm looking forward to read some more.
Update more soon ~_^

Ja-Ne =^_^=

Great story. Please write more.
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