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May 10, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I liked reading this. The ending was...lacking, if not realistic. It's your prerogative, but, since this stuff isn't exactly literature, maybe you should consider offering a slightly happier ending, instead of the cold, dead realism of post-modernist writing. I liked the world, and especially the alien characters--you did a good job with that. I admit, however, I barely got through this story in its entirety. Two things: it shows that either 1) you as an author have a fetish with 'virtuous-women-dirty-nasty-icky-bad-bad-sex', or that you yourself are utilizing your works as a therapy session for your own troubles. I'm not trying to be cruel, but it gets a bit daunting, especially if one reads more than a sampling of your work. The second thing, and this will sound harsh:
If, for one more millisecond, I had to listen to one of your main female characters cry, scream, and generally act like a belligerent animal...
I understand the need to portray realistic, and, what do they call it these days? 'Anti-Sue' characters. I do. But the plain fact of the matter is, Victoria became flatter, less realistic, and more static the more she constantly acted like a petulant fool. Even stupid, overly emotional women can be intelligent, thoughtful, and selfless at times. It was almost as if you were determined NOT to allow her to grow into a somewhat less loathsome character, just for sake of her 'flaws'.
Take it from an experienced writer: the desperate, anxious need to make your character "better than those other Sues" will negatively impact your writing as a whole. Ask yourself: what IS a 'Mary Sue'? She's a fantastic, pretty, intelligent, successful woman who often has attracted many people to her.
What is every human being trying to do on this planet? The answer? To be like Mary Sue. It's not a crime. It's not a sin. It's betterment. We all do it. We all want that. Do not crush your characters under the stubborn, naive need to make them 'not like Sue'.
With all that said, I really did enjoy some parts of this story.
If, for one more millisecond, I had to listen to one of your main female characters cry, scream, and generally act like a belligerent animal...
I understand the need to portray realistic, and, what do they call it these days? 'Anti-Sue' characters. I do. But the plain fact of the matter is, Victoria became flatter, less realistic, and more static the more she constantly acted like a petulant fool. Even stupid, overly emotional women can be intelligent, thoughtful, and selfless at times. It was almost as if you were determined NOT to allow her to grow into a somewhat less loathsome character, just for sake of her 'flaws'.
Take it from an experienced writer: the desperate, anxious need to make your character "better than those other Sues" will negatively impact your writing as a whole. Ask yourself: what IS a 'Mary Sue'? She's a fantastic, pretty, intelligent, successful woman who often has attracted many people to her.
What is every human being trying to do on this planet? The answer? To be like Mary Sue. It's not a crime. It's not a sin. It's betterment. We all do it. We all want that. Do not crush your characters under the stubborn, naive need to make them 'not like Sue'.
With all that said, I really did enjoy some parts of this story.
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February 5, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I really wish you would write a sequel to this story!!!!!! I want to know what happens to them all?? please
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January 29, 2012 at 12:00 AM
I think this story was well-written and I liked it quite a bit. However...Victoria's character REALLY really annoyed me at times.... I felt like, at certain points of the story, her anger was justified and understandable. At other times it seemed out of place and she seemed like an exaggerated caricature of someone with anger issues. I really didn't like her a lot of the time. But other than that, well done!
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July 5, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Thank you very much for writing this story! It was awesome. I would be happy if you would write a sequel.
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June 28, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful. PLEASE WRITE MORE!!!! I would like to know what has happen to them all.
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June 22, 2011 at 12:00 AM
That was lovely! Another amazing story of yours, completed. That was totally a twist regarding Thamar and Judith. I didn't see that one coming. lol. I'm curious if Revaz and Victoria ever had kids?
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June 12, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Please, PLEASE write the sequel with Thamar and Judith. That would be soooooo fantastic!
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June 12, 2011 at 12:00 AM
love this story! great ending! i am very interested in a judith story though i'm sure it will be much darker! i'm such a huge fan of all your stories!
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May 14, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Awesome, awesome, awesome. I so love this story. Please go on!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May 9, 2011 at 12:00 AM
And P.S - every time I hear that song "E.T" by Katie Perry I think of this story. =P