rate_review Reviews

You think I write violently, heh.
Hello, just responding to your review, and just want to mention I am a girl, just one who has a very sick mind.
Kay (a.k.a Heartspeakfire)

Okay, so I caught your question on the forum, and from there decided to check out the story you mentioned. The grammar needs a lot of work. And some of your descriptions, for example when explaining about the fluid in the vats, are overly long. The body of work is interesting in that it is not usually seen, but I'm not sure it will gather much attention as the idea itself is relatively new to society and so not as widely accepted as others, even in a fictional capacity. But it is intriguing. And I would like to read more, if you can procure a beta to help you with the grammar and language. I'm not saying it as an insult, much of it is fine. It just needs some fine tuning and you left a few holes in the alien's understanding of things in my opinion(not sure what to call him/her, clone maybe? test tube baby just sounds odd:) ). But it isn't like I'm a vetted editor or anything, so you can take any advice with a grain of salt or not at all, as you please. The best thing you can do for it is to search for a VERY good beta, though they may seem hard to find. Good luck with it!

I like it! You should do more with this story.