schedule
October 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hmmm. The all-boys school concept is a little over-done, but it's not too often that you see the new kid instantly buddying up with the retards- I mean goons- I mean... you know. You took a different approach to that. I like it.
As for the general criticism I'm going to offer you, is that make sure when a different person starts new dialogue, create a new paragraph. It keeps things neat and makes it so the reader knows what's going on.
Other than that, it's good so far. :]
As for the general criticism I'm going to offer you, is that make sure when a different person starts new dialogue, create a new paragraph. It keeps things neat and makes it so the reader knows what's going on.
Other than that, it's good so far. :]
schedule
October 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Nice. I'm reading.
Moving a little too fast for my taste, but apart from that it's all good :)
Moving a little too fast for my taste, but apart from that it's all good :)