schedule
October 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
That was good~ I wish it were that easy to experiment with another girl. xD Honestly, all Liz did was ask and BAM! Sex~
Because I'm a tard, I forget if you said this was a oneshot or WIP... But either way, I would hope that you'd write more. Of course it's fine to end there, but you know what I mean, an actually story with development about them would be cool too. :3
There are a couple little mistakes in the use of some words, but it's because of spell check not being totally reliable. (Ex: You might have wanted "though," but wrote "thought," so it's not gonna pick up on that.) But it's hard to read your own work and catch things 'cause you know what you wrote... If that made sense. xD
Anyways, I'm gonna check if you have anything else to read, and if not, I'll be waiting for something from you. :3
Because I'm a tard, I forget if you said this was a oneshot or WIP... But either way, I would hope that you'd write more. Of course it's fine to end there, but you know what I mean, an actually story with development about them would be cool too. :3
There are a couple little mistakes in the use of some words, but it's because of spell check not being totally reliable. (Ex: You might have wanted "though," but wrote "thought," so it's not gonna pick up on that.) But it's hard to read your own work and catch things 'cause you know what you wrote... If that made sense. xD
Anyways, I'm gonna check if you have anything else to read, and if not, I'll be waiting for something from you. :3
schedule
September 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
good job.
schedule
September 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
hot. i liked how it seemed kinda real.