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September 30, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!1 THE SOCKS!!!!!!!!!!! EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! TOO MUCH DETAIL!!! TOO MUCH DETAIL!!! i really don't want to know that it CRUSTS!!!!!!!!! *shudder*
...
btw, my mother is exactly the same... ugh...
i really like this story! i find it hilarious that the main character can't find a way for guy A and guy B to have met when he has real life experience. and i'm sorry my pen name is so long....it does have some meaning behind it, but as some people do, if you want to believe that i'm your long-lost sister, go ahead! i've always wanted another sibling!!! (even though i have 8 in RL)
oh, and since you mentioned fondling yourself while reading your reviews, if you cum while reading this review, i will shoot you.
:D happy writing!!!
ASOTA
...
btw, my mother is exactly the same... ugh...
i really like this story! i find it hilarious that the main character can't find a way for guy A and guy B to have met when he has real life experience. and i'm sorry my pen name is so long....it does have some meaning behind it, but as some people do, if you want to believe that i'm your long-lost sister, go ahead! i've always wanted another sibling!!! (even though i have 8 in RL)
oh, and since you mentioned fondling yourself while reading your reviews, if you cum while reading this review, i will shoot you.
:D happy writing!!!
ASOTA
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September 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I feel almost sorry for Chad. He's obviously trying to get Nick's attention for reasons other than their project. Well, obvious to a rabid fangirl, like myself. X3 Then again I could be jumping to conclusions, so I'll just keep my other opinions to myself until the picture is clearer. =3
Make my review stand out? Aside from living up to my reputation, there's no way I'm going to come up with a review unique enough to get into every chapter. X3 Sorry in advance, Sage. ^__^;;
Well, that's all from me for today! See you next time. ^w^
Make my review stand out? Aside from living up to my reputation, there's no way I'm going to come up with a review unique enough to get into every chapter. X3 Sorry in advance, Sage. ^__^;;
Well, that's all from me for today! See you next time. ^w^
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September 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
"purpletwister" LOL had me rolling...anywho...there seems to be a story in this story that is trying to breakout. (if that makes any sense.) i am enjoying how you are giving the main character a life and see how he interacts with people in is everyday life. maybe it is time for a little drama...you mentioned a rape scene...i don't know...maybe to drastic for right now... but maybe not...i do think it's time for a little drama...just my opinion...take it or leave it...i'm enjoying this story anyway it goes...you seem to be a very creative writer and i enjoy you telling this story.
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September 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
the manga 'okane ga nai' is written buy a guy, and it has the most girliest of girl guys on it as the bottom dude. it's one of the most stereotypical top/bottom seme/uke stories out there.
i like how the main character talks tough but gets batted around by that jock in that common 'you're my bitch' kinda way. eh. all this guy a/b thing is kinda too confusing for my 5am brain to take in, but other than that, cool story.
i like how the main character talks tough but gets batted around by that jock in that common 'you're my bitch' kinda way. eh. all this guy a/b thing is kinda too confusing for my 5am brain to take in, but other than that, cool story.
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September 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
constructive criticism ahead...
read ch 3. not to put a damper on the story, but you might want to slow down on the amount of text you spend responding to readers' reviews in the story....or else each chapter might turn out to be more about being one long author response to reviews, rather than a story about two budding gay lovers (mush mush). you want to be careful about where the plot's going too...from this chapter the most i got out of it was that the main character (sorry, can't quite remember his name so i'll call him MC) gets excited about reviews, wants to put a rape scene in his story or something like it, has school work hassling him, and...uh... there's a stereotypical jock that appears at some point like a reminder that this is still a story about their soon-to-be relationship. i think it's okay for the beginning of the story to have all these interactions between audience/author incorporated into it, but after a while it has potential to get somewhat boring (not for the audience, but as a story about gay romance; people will start to review for a chance to see themselves in the fic, rather than because they think the story as a gay romance is good). i think the idea of having an interactive fic is good though, but you may want to tone down on that a bit and focus more on how you're going to get MC in bed with the jock.
that's my 2 cents and then some.
of course, i could be totally off and there's more to this interactiveness than meets the eye (if it becomes a big thing for MC, maybe it's necessary). if you start to feel bad about leaving review responses out of the story though, just do the regular "author's notes: [response to reviews]" thing at the top/bottom of each chapter. good luck with the story.
read ch 3. not to put a damper on the story, but you might want to slow down on the amount of text you spend responding to readers' reviews in the story....or else each chapter might turn out to be more about being one long author response to reviews, rather than a story about two budding gay lovers (mush mush). you want to be careful about where the plot's going too...from this chapter the most i got out of it was that the main character (sorry, can't quite remember his name so i'll call him MC) gets excited about reviews, wants to put a rape scene in his story or something like it, has school work hassling him, and...uh... there's a stereotypical jock that appears at some point like a reminder that this is still a story about their soon-to-be relationship. i think it's okay for the beginning of the story to have all these interactions between audience/author incorporated into it, but after a while it has potential to get somewhat boring (not for the audience, but as a story about gay romance; people will start to review for a chance to see themselves in the fic, rather than because they think the story as a gay romance is good). i think the idea of having an interactive fic is good though, but you may want to tone down on that a bit and focus more on how you're going to get MC in bed with the jock.
that's my 2 cents and then some.
of course, i could be totally off and there's more to this interactiveness than meets the eye (if it becomes a big thing for MC, maybe it's necessary). if you start to feel bad about leaving review responses out of the story though, just do the regular "author's notes: [response to reviews]" thing at the top/bottom of each chapter. good luck with the story.
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September 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
So far it is fairly adorable. And kind of what I do...for most of my stories I write them at work. So instead of troubleshooting computer problems I write lemon scenes and nod my head at the people in my ear.
For an original story, this brings it back to real originality and for those who are not writers and just read it gives them a taste of the process people go through
For an original story, this brings it back to real originality and for those who are not writers and just read it gives them a taste of the process people go through
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September 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This story is awesome! ....Yes, I'm a little slow when it comes to reviewing, but just to let you know, I hardly review unless its a great story worth commenting on xD
Rape scene? The only suggestion that I can come up with is...if Guy A..? right? Yes, Guy A gets raped in someone random secluded area, attempts to clean himself up but fails and falls unconscious; THUS leading to the arrival of Guy B finding him, thinking Guy A got jumped/mugged/attacked, and takes him home to take care of him. ANNNND, during the time that they are together will help to grow a relationship ["friendship" for now] between the two characters, without seemingly having to force them to bump into each other xD
Quite cliche, eh? But it could work! D:
Rape scene? The only suggestion that I can come up with is...if Guy A..? right? Yes, Guy A gets raped in someone random secluded area, attempts to clean himself up but fails and falls unconscious; THUS leading to the arrival of Guy B finding him, thinking Guy A got jumped/mugged/attacked, and takes him home to take care of him. ANNNND, during the time that they are together will help to grow a relationship ["friendship" for now] between the two characters, without seemingly having to force them to bump into each other xD
Quite cliche, eh? But it could work! D:
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September 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Shit. So, I'm officially female now, and being compared to a pirate? I don't get the grog, and I don't get the endless naked men, so I must not be a very good pirate. Well, since I'm not a good pirate, at least I'm a good woman. And, yes, riff-raff IS still used, albeit mostly by myself. Oh, and, by the way, will they go straight to plundering or buy each other vibrators to practice with, first? :K
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September 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
loved the new chappie, the whole randomness of thought....you guy chad is kinda creepy the way hes going on about this project but its funny how nick responds to him both out loud and in his mind
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September 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
First I have to say... sock details while entirely reasonable were also entirely disgusting. I really enjoy how you encorporate feedback into your writing, especially our dear 'azure petals', cock and all. I have to admit the size of this chapter was a little sad if only because it really didn't take us far beyond Chad having contacted our leading man. I'm sure plenty will hppen soon enough. Good writing always leaves readers wanting just a little more.