rate_review Reviews

I really liked this story. It was interesting to see your interpretation of that whole idea of "what to do when one's younger brother interrupts jacking off." they seem like really concrete charaters, like they could actually happen in real life. I didn't notice any grammatical errors or anything of the sort, so i don't really have any criticism for you (sorry, no blowjob in ConCrit form). the only thing i could say I didn't like is the spacing between the paragraphs, it made me lose my place quite a bit, but other than that it was freakin awesome. I would love to see where you take this story, and if you'll keep going with them into their older years. but that's if you wish to continue it. Love your writing style and hope to see more!
-Jester

Please go on! I love the way you wrote this, the character was very much like a hormonal teenager, and though his brother seems a little too naive for his age, I suppose is just because he's a "good boy". But I would love to see a continuation of this because your characters are actually realistic and belivable, which is hard to fin in slash fiction these days. Thanks for such a great story and keep up the great work!
:] <3

This story was really hot! I love the balance between doing something naughty but still feeling kind of bad about it... it was a lot more realistic than a lot of other fics involving incest.

I did just want to say something about the grammar/beta thing, because I read your other reviews and I don't think they're giving you good information.

More than one person said they couldn't find any mistakes, and I really don't want them to give you the wrong idea, because that's not how you learn. There were a lot of grammar mistakes in the story. But, like you said, you're not a native speaker... I am amazed by anyone who can write ANYTHING in another language. (I can't even speak another language.) But, I think you should definately find a good beta reader to help, because your story is great, and you want it to be as good as you can make it!

Thanks for writing, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories!

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And I did enjoy the teaser <3

Three things.
1. I liked it. It's kind of... almost realistic ^-^
2. And yes, the story practically begs for a sequel. BUT I would not write one if I were you. I think it might take the nice UST out of this first part, while also pushing the realism a bit. If you have good ideas for a sequel though, go ahead. You can pull it off, I'm sure.
3. I would like to beta - although I didn't notice any mistakes, it is always better to have someone proofread just for the tiny little things you overlook. You can e-mail me at koira@gmx.net, if you want.
Good job! =)

Uh could ya maybe do a sequel? Maybe show what actually happens in said shower or later and how he finally comes to terms with this? If not a sequel then something with a bit more action involed. Well I hope you can get your muse to working again. I know mine died long ago on my R rated stories.