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August 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This story is awesome!! I just read it and i want more... alot more!! Thanks for sharing!!!
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August 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Zuka
Your story has peeked my interest. I'm anxious to see why he's in his room. I'm sorry your other stories were torn apart in such a fashion and I commend you for having the bravery to post here. The story flows wells and is eas to follow. Just keep doing what you do =)
Your story has peeked my interest. I'm anxious to see why he's in his room. I'm sorry your other stories were torn apart in such a fashion and I commend you for having the bravery to post here. The story flows wells and is eas to follow. Just keep doing what you do =)
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August 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
You set the stage well for an interesting story,but I simply don't get..."O's"... with the wiggly~~~ thingies over top them ~, what is the point your trying to establish a forenge Language accents? I personally think it interferes with the flow of your story.
If you normal language is not English, don't take this as insult...I am curious... I want to know if Alex has mixed parts, or a demon tongue... or perhaps even a nice long tail/tale...tales or tails can be groovy.
No matter what don't let any one discourage you, not even me!
Let your Muse be with you, G
If you normal language is not English, don't take this as insult...I am curious... I want to know if Alex has mixed parts, or a demon tongue... or perhaps even a nice long tail/tale...tales or tails can be groovy.
No matter what don't let any one discourage you, not even me!
Let your Muse be with you, G
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August 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Your using the O's and squiggles instead of Quotes,around words spoken example below:
"Yo silverhaired Kid, what's your name? My name is Ruth!"
You or other talkers reply, "Hello I am Called Sephiroth and I am a great general!"
If you have "quotes" on YOUR PERSONAL keyboard please use them, it will make your story MUCH easier to understand.
"Yo silverhaired Kid, what's your name? My name is Ruth!"
You or other talkers reply, "Hello I am Called Sephiroth and I am a great general!"
If you have "quotes" on YOUR PERSONAL keyboard please use them, it will make your story MUCH easier to understand.
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August 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
12 at night is noon, so you mite want to change it to 12 in the morning or 12 am. Other than that your story has a really good start. Please write more!
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August 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Intresting as alway, maybe you should get a beta reader that's always a good idea just to get them little bumps out you could see ;] cant wait for more!
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August 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Interesting story so far, curious to see where it goes.
It's too bad that all your quotation marks got replaced with O's in that one chapter. I've seen it happen with a few other stories where weird marks suddenly appear through out the chapter, but I'm not too sure what causes it.
Anyways, like I said, good story, can't wait to for the next update! :)
It's too bad that all your quotation marks got replaced with O's in that one chapter. I've seen it happen with a few other stories where weird marks suddenly appear through out the chapter, but I'm not too sure what causes it.
Anyways, like I said, good story, can't wait to for the next update! :)
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August 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This seems intresting. I wonder what his "problem" is, really has me guessin. Chapter two should have been spaced out, though it wasn't a problem really. I can't wait to read more, and find out about this new man. So keep up the good work hun.
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August 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
aww poor Alexander :(
i love this!
more soon :)
i love this!
more soon :)
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August 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
The format of your story is sort of annoying, and it's not supposed to be that way xD
But, I still like this story^^
Oh, and I'm quite sure I know what the problem is, since it says that the story contains mpreg xDD
But, I still like this story^^
Oh, and I'm quite sure I know what the problem is, since it says that the story contains mpreg xDD