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July 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
1) Unless you just want it to be just smut and not realistic, then that's fine, ignore this part. If you do, try to bring us into the character's minds so we know what's going on. It's hard to imagine a girl saying, "Okay uncle, let's practice!" without so much as knowing, well is she so eager because she has a sort of crush on her uncle or what's going on here?
2) Try to be more descriptive with the sex scenes. It's kind of like, "Yeah, I love the hot wetness of your mouth," and then 1 line later it's like *spurt spurt*
The more good erotica you read, hopefully it'll give you a better idea on what to add and what to expound on. Good luck.
2) Try to be more descriptive with the sex scenes. It's kind of like, "Yeah, I love the hot wetness of your mouth," and then 1 line later it's like *spurt spurt*
The more good erotica you read, hopefully it'll give you a better idea on what to add and what to expound on. Good luck.
schedule
July 3, 2008 at 12:00 AM
it was good. ^^
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July 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love your work. I was so happy to see that you have begun writing again please update soon!