rate_review Reviews

Ooh very cool! I like your imagery :)

MIND-CONTROLLING BUTTERFLIES, eh? That's beautiful. This isn't the sort of slash I'd normally read but the plot is engaging already. I'm looking forward to seeing how this story plays out.

Very nice! So there is an ominous side to the butterlfy. I love the interpretation you've made of them.


Thank you

haha I'm still loving this.
I love how something we think so harmless like a butterfly can totally muck you up.
I bow down to your creativness with this!
Your writing style is great too! =)

Ahh I think I've read this somewhere before,
Fictionpress?
But anyway I luffed it then but I'm not a member on there and am lazy so meh!
It's really great!
Ahh update please!
R x

I like the idea, especially the bit of lore concerning wings. You should find more time to work on this - it would be a shame if a story with such a good potential would be left unfinished. :)

Very nice start. I love your tone - the way you put things across in a very matter of fact way. I had to laugh at the second paragraph. I like the use of butterflies too. It adds realism, and the contrast of a butterfly image with the one you paint of the wall makes the wall more menacing and somehow adds menace to my view on butterflies as well.

The only thing I would change is to seperate the first and second paragraphs by a scene break. I wasn't sure where 'this wall' that wasn't 'The Wall' had come from or how it related to The Wall. Cue a couple of re-reads to see if I'd missed anything. I hadn't.

Interesting and well written. I'd like some more.