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February 6, 2017 at 12:00 AM
This is completely hilarious! So many laugh-out-loud moments I can't count them all. Fantastic! :D
I'm probably guilty of quite a few of these things to varying degrees, but remain completely unrepentant.
At least I can console myself that I tend to allow my characters the opportunity to even the score. Even Maglor.
The crystal tears... lol
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February 11, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Funniest guide I've ever read, by far. This is how people should be taught to write, with heavy-handed sarcasm. You, sir, are a beacon in a world of literary darkness. And by darkness, I mean idiocy.
I like how you try to keep in character, but sometimes you break into a rant. That's hilarious! Oh, and the sarcasm? Did I mention the sarcasm? Because it's very good sarcasm. Sneaking the "Half-seahorse" there was a nice subtle touch, too.
Leaving the extreme hilarity aside, I enjoy the psychological commentary in this "guide." Most of the time, one really DOES wonder about the author's psyche when one reads something so warped, and what the hell is wrong with them. Your endless jabs at the way authors view genders are rather spot on, I'd say. Who knows how many times I've wondered more or less the same. And what's more, relentlessly pointing out the myriad of logical fallacies and flaws in most plots might actually make people reconsider the way they write. At least, that's what one hopes. Fervently. For the sake of all mankind.
"Yuki successfully managing to cut out a paper circle in his special needs class" Actually made me spit coffee, even if I had already read that sentence a couple of times. Some lines just NEVER fail to amuse. Like "Seriously. Starving people were so hot." Or the Africa commercial flashback. Man, such a good flashback. Also, "brutally tearing up my ass and violating me in one of the worst possible ways, especially for a man." More people should be aware of this. Unless it's played for comedy. In which case, it's all good!
Best line in the entire Guide: "RapeyMcRapester Raipe wandered into the library. ‘Ah, spring,’ he thought to himself, ‘That beautiful time of year when a young man’s thoughts turn to rape.’" I will NEVER, ever lack a source of laughter for as long as I can remember that line.
Your last plea to the reader to avoid precisely what you've written is touching, in a "you poor bastard" kind of way. Well, one can always hope! The literary world really does need better quality slash. All in all, excellent work, waddict. You get a golden star. ;)
I like how you try to keep in character, but sometimes you break into a rant. That's hilarious! Oh, and the sarcasm? Did I mention the sarcasm? Because it's very good sarcasm. Sneaking the "Half-seahorse" there was a nice subtle touch, too.
Leaving the extreme hilarity aside, I enjoy the psychological commentary in this "guide." Most of the time, one really DOES wonder about the author's psyche when one reads something so warped, and what the hell is wrong with them. Your endless jabs at the way authors view genders are rather spot on, I'd say. Who knows how many times I've wondered more or less the same. And what's more, relentlessly pointing out the myriad of logical fallacies and flaws in most plots might actually make people reconsider the way they write. At least, that's what one hopes. Fervently. For the sake of all mankind.
"Yuki successfully managing to cut out a paper circle in his special needs class" Actually made me spit coffee, even if I had already read that sentence a couple of times. Some lines just NEVER fail to amuse. Like "Seriously. Starving people were so hot." Or the Africa commercial flashback. Man, such a good flashback. Also, "brutally tearing up my ass and violating me in one of the worst possible ways, especially for a man." More people should be aware of this. Unless it's played for comedy. In which case, it's all good!
Best line in the entire Guide: "RapeyMcRapester Raipe wandered into the library. ‘Ah, spring,’ he thought to himself, ‘That beautiful time of year when a young man’s thoughts turn to rape.’" I will NEVER, ever lack a source of laughter for as long as I can remember that line.
Your last plea to the reader to avoid precisely what you've written is touching, in a "you poor bastard" kind of way. Well, one can always hope! The literary world really does need better quality slash. All in all, excellent work, waddict. You get a golden star. ;)
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December 24, 2010 at 12:00 AM
This satire is made of awesome. XD It did strike home for me in some places. Even though I hate stereotypical yaoi, and try my best to keep from writing it. *sigh* It was still hilarious, and made me think. So, thank you for writing and posting it. :3
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May 1, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Oh, wow. That's so true, which sort of kills me a little inside, but thanks for making it so hilarious. We all need to laugh at ourselves sometimes :)
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August 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hi wandering addict,
In lieu of actually mailing you a reply to your wonderful review, I decided to read your profile and ended up reading this just before heading into work... This should be compulsory reading for every aspiring yaoi writer :). It's a fabulous satire with sadly only too many aspects encountered in many stories. Though I couldn't help but compare it to my own stories and I just wanted to say that Chris isn't just a 'beautiful, blackhearted bastard'. Oh,and Will isn't just a willowy, weakwilled whinger (see what I did there, kawai no?). Right, reading and writing these things far too early in the morning is just stupid.
Anyways... Great piece. Poppendol
In lieu of actually mailing you a reply to your wonderful review, I decided to read your profile and ended up reading this just before heading into work... This should be compulsory reading for every aspiring yaoi writer :). It's a fabulous satire with sadly only too many aspects encountered in many stories. Though I couldn't help but compare it to my own stories and I just wanted to say that Chris isn't just a 'beautiful, blackhearted bastard'. Oh,and Will isn't just a willowy, weakwilled whinger (see what I did there, kawai no?). Right, reading and writing these things far too early in the morning is just stupid.
Anyways... Great piece. Poppendol
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July 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I posted a link to your story on GAFF. Don't panic! I put you in the antidote section. We talk about the stuff you mention in your satire all the time.
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July 6, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG, I totally laughed my ass off. The sad thing about it is I'm downloading scanlations and I just read one almost like this, well it was about an Ad agency but highschool analogy would fit here as well. I drooled over the artwork, of course, but then I'm like...wait...why did he just rape this guy? He had to tie him down to do it and it didn't look like fun but then the next chapter they are going at each other like bunnies. All oooh and aaaah and more daddy more! I thought to myself, whoops, I missed a download but nope, vicious rape to a smexy hot consensual relationship. So this is the stereotypical norm for YAOI? I hope not, or else I am just not jaded enough. I'll have to work on that.
Wandering Addict...hahaha. No wonder I liked it.
Later!
Kiix
Wandering Addict...hahaha. No wonder I liked it.
Later!
Kiix
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June 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
hahaha wonderboy, you really are a talented little gem and my favourite author! You rock lol
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June 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
out of the... very few stories i've skimmed through tonight, i must say, this was the best. so completely and utterly random i nearly died laughing. however, i'm not sure i can head your little warning toward the bottom. it has inspired me so, and you have to admit wussy uke's are just the best.
dev.
dev.
schedule
June 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I laughed so hard, and winced in a few places where the stereotypes struck home. ::hides her stories away where no one can critique them:: I usually avoid fic-satires, but this one was brilliantly written!
The only point I would disagree with, however, is this one: Everyone always knows that the best and the brightest, most outgoing people actually suffer from severe psychological problems! Problems where they rape people!
I do agree that many yaoi stories have illogical rapes (it REALLY pisses me off when a seme rapes an uke for no reason and their relationship isn't consequently portrayed as damaged or fucked up somehow). But often rapists in real life are bright, outgoing people, and aren't necessarily people with severe psychological problems. They're just assholes who feel a pathetic need to express control. Is that an extremely overplayed trope in yaoi? Sure. Is it impossible or even farfetched that an otherwise responsible, sociable person would rape someone? Hardly.
I hope this doesn't come across as preachy or condescending, and that I didn't misread your sentiment. But you seemed to be implying that the only way "the best and brightest" would be rapists is if they were severely psychologically damaged, which I disagree with.
Any chance you'll write a non-satire fic sometime soon? ::hopes::
The only point I would disagree with, however, is this one: Everyone always knows that the best and the brightest, most outgoing people actually suffer from severe psychological problems! Problems where they rape people!
I do agree that many yaoi stories have illogical rapes (it REALLY pisses me off when a seme rapes an uke for no reason and their relationship isn't consequently portrayed as damaged or fucked up somehow). But often rapists in real life are bright, outgoing people, and aren't necessarily people with severe psychological problems. They're just assholes who feel a pathetic need to express control. Is that an extremely overplayed trope in yaoi? Sure. Is it impossible or even farfetched that an otherwise responsible, sociable person would rape someone? Hardly.
I hope this doesn't come across as preachy or condescending, and that I didn't misread your sentiment. But you seemed to be implying that the only way "the best and brightest" would be rapists is if they were severely psychologically damaged, which I disagree with.
Any chance you'll write a non-satire fic sometime soon? ::hopes::