rate_review Reviews

it'll be interesting how long the Alex can hold out and the King can restrain himself; thanks for the update!

Haha! Alex does not stand a chance with this new attitude of the Raiser *g*

Well written, no major grammatical/spelling errors I came across as being a hinderence in the story's flow. Long chapter, love that! Keep on writing!

Hehe... I absolutly love Raiser's mood swing XD so cute!!
I really had an urge tokick something when that juicy lemony scene ended.
Though everythin afterwards was funny enough.
Great job :D

Wow...this chapter was MUCH better! Alex's reactions were believable, the Raiser as mischeivious as always (so naughty!) and as always, it was deliciously long. I am actually at a loss for words. *thinks long and hard* the only flub up was a couple of spelling mistakes (such as "manor" instead of "manner"). I guess I'll simply have to wait for the next chapter! And I HATE waiting. *pouts*

"Seriously, I'm joking!" (SeriouslyJoking)

P.S. That is VERY rude of Alex to tear up those dolls...But that's okay...I have boxes of em! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!

Poor Alex. He just doesn't know what he is in for. Can't wait for the next chapter. I can just imagine his reaction when he wakes up with the King nestled against him. Let the emotional fireworks begin!!

That was soooo totally great! I'm in love with your story, character & background. They are really original for a slash fanfiction, and in a clever way! And they are deep and not cliché and... :)

You're really good, and very imaginative, keep on!

Oh, yeah. "He didn’t care that a steady warmth was growing low in his belly - it didn’t matter if his body reacted or not - he didn’t want to be raped by this bizarre, psychotic kidnapper." I found that sentence peculiarly great, because in the mind of most authors on adultfanfiction.net, when the character gets excited, it means that the rape is not a rape anymore, and I find it a bit too easy - and untrue - and maybe even rude towards the true people that were actually raped and may have had their body reacting to it (the more often, because of the fear I guess) because it is denying the violence and trauma they lived. Mh, not trying to be moralistic here. It's just, I don't know. ^^

Anyway, I like how Alex is reacting, in a realistic way. I would have expecting him to be angry during all the thing, because it would have been sexier and all, yet he didn't, and was almost acting like a coward, or more like, reacting as a real 'normal' human could have. And I found it really good. (and cute too, but hush) And I like the fact I'm not knowing yet where this story is willing to lead. That's enthralling.

And I'm starting to appreciate Raiser more, even though he is a total bastard. At the beginning I just found him cool and all, but also whimsical and irritating.
Now I find him whimsical and irritating but also pretty sexy with the depiction of his body of young man you made, which makes me a totally superficial girl \o/

Well, I am also starting to like him because he's going to try to seduce Alex, and that's great!

Also, I love the whole universe you've created and I look forward to know more about it, and I like the Sage.


This is a shitty review but it sums up about well what I wanted to say.

So, thanks for this story and uh, bye! :)

(and I'm sorry if it is difficult to read or sounds awkward, english is not my native tongue and I'm far from bilingual either. ^^)

(Oh and yeah, I fell in love with the pretty drawing you made of your character Alex <3)

Damn, I'm saying exactly what Kashka is saying in her review and I didn't even read her before. Isn't that crazy? O_ô

I'm so unoriginal now. :(

amazing, im hooked to this story already.
i love the characters love how long each chapter is, i hope you continue this story soon!

I love this story. The setting is original and the characters are totally believable and, actually, really charming. In addition, your writing has a nice fluid quality that makes it a pleasure to read. I look forward to your updates.

Sadly, alas, I have to rate this chapter as simply "passable". Don't fret, I still loved it! However, the beginning writing felt very forced, I guess is the word for it. Compared to the free flow of the previous chapters, the first quarter felt clunky and clumsy, like you had the idea of what you wanted, but couldn't quite grasp it enough to set it to paper (or screen) as required. But upon reading your footnote, I can see now why that was. A long time since you've written a lurve scene, eh? However, as the chapter progressed, it became much smoother.
The clunkiness that I found was mostly due to the sharp contrast (and sometimes, I felt, unrealistic) of reactions by both Alex and Raiser. I felt that Alex, though a man, had the reaction time and confusion, of a prepubesent (spelling on that one?) youth. However, I do understand that people react differently to situations, and where one person would scream and cry, another might become numb and confused. As for Raiser's reactions, they were fine, except for in the beginning, when you wrote that he "knew" that Alex was only reacting not to displease him. I don't know what it was about it, but it jarred me, and I found it very omnipresent for Raiser. He's a god, yes, but I felt it out of character for him to be so aware of everything. Ugh, maybe I'm just being snooty, and you should hate me.
But that was really a SMALL part of the chapter, and you should rejoice in the fact taht this chapter, though it had the meat centre of a "filler" chapter, has only whet my appetite for more, and I can't WAIT for the seduction to begin. What is Raiser's idea? Will poor Alex escape the bathroom unscathed?! *dun dun DUN!!!* All this and MORE in the next installement of "The Storm's of Our Lives". *fades out into sappy music*

"Seriously, I'm Joking" (SeriouslyJoking)

P.S. I made these just for you! *hands over a pair of Raiser and Alex kissing dolls*. Aren't they just CUTE?!