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schedule
June 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Please update
schedule
May 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
please update
schedule
May 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love this story, I am surprised other people are not reading this. I do want to know more about the tool/master relationship. Are the tools not human?
schedule
April 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Your story is awesome. I do not know why more people have not read or reviewed it. You need to let unregistered reviewers review. You will get a lot more reviews. I specifically made this account so I could review your story.
schedule
April 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm intrigued and left wondering about the setting of your story, the nature of these 'tools', and how the plot will develop. I like master/pet relationships and err...'discipline', so this sounds right up my street and it even has a pokemonesque twist. Kota sounds so very cute, blood thirsty, but cute.
To make a minor criticism, I think you need to be a little more careful with spacing during dialogue. There are a lot of instances where one character speaks and then another character's non-verbal response appears on the same line; this can be slightly misleading. I would recommend using a new line to indicate that a different character is being referred to, even if they don't make a verbal contribution.
Anyway, I've enjoyed this so far. Please continue.
To make a minor criticism, I think you need to be a little more careful with spacing during dialogue. There are a lot of instances where one character speaks and then another character's non-verbal response appears on the same line; this can be slightly misleading. I would recommend using a new line to indicate that a different character is being referred to, even if they don't make a verbal contribution.
Anyway, I've enjoyed this so far. Please continue.