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March 19, 2009 at 12:00 AM
oooooooooooooooooooooooh how i hope you update soon~ @_@ This has got to be one of the more creative stories I've found/read in a while, not to mention your style of writing is just fantastic. Really approachable and witty.. luv it, and love the characters. <3 All around luvin' it~
I'm assuming there'll be some conflict in the future, considering who the two lovebirds/leviathans are, so I'm TOTALLY psyched to find out what'll be happening~ which leads me back to my first statments, ooooooooooooooooooooooh how i HOPE you'll update SOON~ lol
^_____^
I'm assuming there'll be some conflict in the future, considering who the two lovebirds/leviathans are, so I'm TOTALLY psyched to find out what'll be happening~ which leads me back to my first statments, ooooooooooooooooooooooh how i HOPE you'll update SOON~ lol
^_____^
schedule
July 31, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hi!
I found/saw your story two or three days ago and was drawn into it… I copied and printed all the chapters so I could read them in peace, and I’m not sorry… It’s been a great experience so far… I am very smitten with all the three main characters (and the little bird’s brother… who I, by the way, wouldn’t mind see hooking up with Ez… I KNOW he is straight, but Ez seems to be someone who can charm anyone into trying anything at least once… *grin*..)… I have a ‘but’ though… as I said, I copied the text and printed it, and I didn’t include comments, so if this has been addressed before, I’m sorry… It’s a dramaturgical question, and it is bothering me… it is the way the story repeats just about everything out of both the characters’ point of view (PoV)… it really brings the flow of the story to a halt… think of it as a movie, would you show one scene out of one characters PoV and then switch and shoe the exact same scene out of the other’s? Well, you MIGHT, once or twice, as a dramaturgical tool/effect, but if you would do it through the whole movie, it would be irritating, wouldn’t it? When I think of it I have never read a book written in that way either, and there’s a reason for it, because you want the story to go on, not jump back in time all the time…
Yes, I DO understand the reason sometimes, because you have the mind-talk going on, but I think the more common way to solve that is to cut bits and pieces into the text as in “Meanwhile Ez was muttering in the dragon’s head… -conversation-)… ahhh… I’m not English, so I’m sorry if this doesn’t make much sense…;o) There IS times when switching PoV completely are natural, like when the characters are not together, and I didn’t mind it too much in the beginning, because you really got to KNOW the characters very well (although I found it a bit strange then as well) but now, I, at least, fell I DO know them, and a description of a simple glance or gesture might be enough… readers don’t have to know every little detail all the time, it takes some of the mystery away…
I hope you won’t take this the wrong way, I mean if I had hated the story I would have never finished it, much less reviewed, but I DO adore the characters and the storyline, I just wish for the dramaturgical changes… Maybe you should ask your long-time readers too (because it might just be me, and it might be because I have read it all at once), and if you do you are welcome to refer to my review… (if anyone can understand it…) I am looking forward to the next chapter, so I hope this doesn’t make you lose heart… you have a very good thing going here, after all, and I believe you are a much better writer than I will ever be… If I do try to leave the FanFiction genre and write some original slash in English (which I hope/plan to do) I sincerely hope you will read my story and point things out to me to… you become blind with your own stories, after all… I guess that’s what editors are for… scary, cruel people they are… ;o)
All the best!
/Wynja
I found/saw your story two or three days ago and was drawn into it… I copied and printed all the chapters so I could read them in peace, and I’m not sorry… It’s been a great experience so far… I am very smitten with all the three main characters (and the little bird’s brother… who I, by the way, wouldn’t mind see hooking up with Ez… I KNOW he is straight, but Ez seems to be someone who can charm anyone into trying anything at least once… *grin*..)… I have a ‘but’ though… as I said, I copied the text and printed it, and I didn’t include comments, so if this has been addressed before, I’m sorry… It’s a dramaturgical question, and it is bothering me… it is the way the story repeats just about everything out of both the characters’ point of view (PoV)… it really brings the flow of the story to a halt… think of it as a movie, would you show one scene out of one characters PoV and then switch and shoe the exact same scene out of the other’s? Well, you MIGHT, once or twice, as a dramaturgical tool/effect, but if you would do it through the whole movie, it would be irritating, wouldn’t it? When I think of it I have never read a book written in that way either, and there’s a reason for it, because you want the story to go on, not jump back in time all the time…
Yes, I DO understand the reason sometimes, because you have the mind-talk going on, but I think the more common way to solve that is to cut bits and pieces into the text as in “Meanwhile Ez was muttering in the dragon’s head… -conversation-)… ahhh… I’m not English, so I’m sorry if this doesn’t make much sense…;o) There IS times when switching PoV completely are natural, like when the characters are not together, and I didn’t mind it too much in the beginning, because you really got to KNOW the characters very well (although I found it a bit strange then as well) but now, I, at least, fell I DO know them, and a description of a simple glance or gesture might be enough… readers don’t have to know every little detail all the time, it takes some of the mystery away…
I hope you won’t take this the wrong way, I mean if I had hated the story I would have never finished it, much less reviewed, but I DO adore the characters and the storyline, I just wish for the dramaturgical changes… Maybe you should ask your long-time readers too (because it might just be me, and it might be because I have read it all at once), and if you do you are welcome to refer to my review… (if anyone can understand it…) I am looking forward to the next chapter, so I hope this doesn’t make you lose heart… you have a very good thing going here, after all, and I believe you are a much better writer than I will ever be… If I do try to leave the FanFiction genre and write some original slash in English (which I hope/plan to do) I sincerely hope you will read my story and point things out to me to… you become blind with your own stories, after all… I guess that’s what editors are for… scary, cruel people they are… ;o)
All the best!
/Wynja
schedule
July 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Yo Scarlet Horror, did you by any chance previously publish this story here or on a another sight, its very familiar to me. I know I read about the fierce Dragon and the little Birdy before,but I don't remember ever reading the ending of the tail/tale! I do remember it was yaoi and that I liked it very much. Curious G
schedule
July 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Silly me I should have checked the reviews first before my last comment, because right there was my own loving review from last time. Sometimes we/me/I don't get any smarter with age. I am truly looking forward to reading the remainder of this Dragon tail and his horny little Birdy. Luv G
schedule
June 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
luv the story! luv it~ I really hope you havn't given up on it. @_____@
and i really really hope hope hope that you'll add more soon, 'cuz I'm dyin' to know what's gonna happen (well............ and the juicy bits, but that goes hand in hand with the conflict, so it's all the more yummy.)
KUDOS
Devotion
and <3's
and i really really hope hope hope that you'll add more soon, 'cuz I'm dyin' to know what's gonna happen (well............ and the juicy bits, but that goes hand in hand with the conflict, so it's all the more yummy.)
KUDOS
Devotion
and <3's
schedule
June 11, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Please review soon, I know it's summer and you are probably enjoying yourself now. But I really like this story....
schedule
May 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Update soon please! I really love this story--I love fantasy settings, innocent ukes, and alternating PoVs, so this story is like a dream come true or something. The cliffhanger sounded a bit like it might be sexy time now, but it does still seem a little soon for sexy time. So, uh...if it's not sexy time yet, I'm really hoping that Eri has one of his wet visions again while Theli's there. Gotta love voyeurism.
Con crit: I've been without internet for a month, so I've just been going outside and stealing the neighbor's wireless to read. So a few chapters ago I wanted to mention that Eri's PoV is overdoing the ellipses in parts, but the latest chapter seems to have fixed that. Ellipses do add tone but when they're after almost every sentence I start paying more attention to the punctuation than the story. But as I said, the problem seems to be fixed anyway, so all I have to say is KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, AND SOON PLZ.
Con crit: I've been without internet for a month, so I've just been going outside and stealing the neighbor's wireless to read. So a few chapters ago I wanted to mention that Eri's PoV is overdoing the ellipses in parts, but the latest chapter seems to have fixed that. Ellipses do add tone but when they're after almost every sentence I start paying more attention to the punctuation than the story. But as I said, the problem seems to be fixed anyway, so all I have to say is KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, AND SOON PLZ.
schedule
May 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
woo - I got a little sick, and a whole bunch of chapters I missed! Very sweet. The inner workings of eri's mind are nicely heartrending, so I'm looking forward to more.
schedule
May 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Haha, poor Eri, not the best situation to get aroused in. I'm glad everything's been cleared up, though I get the feeling it's not going to be smooth sailing from here
schedule
May 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh yes Theli, please take gooooooood care oh him!!!! hihih :D XDD
Man, I'm just sooooooooooooooo glad that the misunderstanding was cleared out! *grins*
Thanks for the update! I loved it! *hugs X2*
Man, I'm just sooooooooooooooo glad that the misunderstanding was cleared out! *grins*
Thanks for the update! I loved it! *hugs X2*