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March 29, 2011 at 12:00 AM
This is an awesome story so far, I just have one small issue. There is an awkwardness when you switch from first person to third person point of view and back. It kind of ruins the flow somehow. Truthfully, I think it's kind of unnecessary, but hey it never hurts to experiment. Anyway, I really like it so far, so please do continue.
schedule
January 14, 2009 at 12:00 AM
please continuation
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March 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hmm... I don't really know what's happening yet, but I like it so far.
There were a few minor spelling mistakes, and some word misuse, but you're doing pretty good. I'd offer to beta for you if I weren't so busy.
There were a few minor spelling mistakes, and some word misuse, but you're doing pretty good. I'd offer to beta for you if I weren't so busy.
schedule
March 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
ooo! sounds like it'll be an interesting story! I'll be waiting for the rest of the story.!
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March 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Please continue.. it seems very interesting :D
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March 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Damn it I like your stuff, write more!