rate_review Reviews

This was a great chapter! Very nice cliffy. Can hardly wait for more.

so okay my thoughts about the vamp inclusion. You really really do have a knack with writing about them and i think that the only reason it didn't really work in this story was because you also have a knack with writing about lycans. People got too enraptured with the werewolves and the dynamics you set up with them and so when you tried to introduce this completely and almost seemingly random aspect it was just too much. I think that a better idea would of been to write a completely separate story about the vampires. Maybe when you edit this story you could take out the part with vampires and write a different story revolving around them with a different female protagonist, or if you really want to use the same one; write another story as an alternate for her life, like if she wasn't led into the path of the werewolves,then she would of gotten caught up in the world of the vampires and tell that story. Just ideas...but yeah this story really really is good, so please don't get too dejected...I really did fall in love with those vampires, so much that I would be ecstatic if you actually continued their story into further detail...good work.

Alright I sifted through your reviews and only found that of the 448 reviews you have received only Serenity, HallowsEve, and Solitude gave you decently sized reviews. As a result, I'm writing you a long ass review. Enjoy, for it covers all chapters.

Characters:
Myron:
I thought I would have started out with Delancy but when I thought of this story I thought of Myron first. He's very well written and his accent gives him a pleasantly rugged character. Throughout the story I've found myself actually feeling for this guy. Wanting him to just kick the crap out of everyone and take her. But your writing of the werewolf system is believable, in that he would do it if he could. I'm also glad you had him somewhat coming to his senses later on; actually going out in search of her. Nice touch :)
Delancy:
This poor girl.... You've put her through just about every change of pace and character. How is she still sane? lol I'm actually a little surprised she isn't scared of herself. I mean you have her hearing two distinct voices. most people would be scared of that. Other than that, I really like her. I've grown to love her overtime. I usually read that story on the edge of my seat just waiting for Myron to come save her. Perhaps you should have her get to a point where she gets herself out of it, trouble I mean. I also wonder how the vampires are going to take it when they find out she's for wolves too.
Byron:
An interesting character. I like how you wrote that Myron and him were enemies since the womb. Thats just awesome. Personally I think he's kinda a jerk. But I like how you write him in his chapter. That although he's a bad wolf he may just be one thats hurting inside. Nice touch. Now you need to make him a mate later one so he can get over his bad self. lol.
Falon:
Omg... I wanted to kill this guy in chapters 15-16. My goodness, I spent the tail end of 16 like this, o_o. Personally I'm against people coming on other peoples faces de to it being so degrading. But it helped the feeling of the chapter. Falon was to take her by force, what better force than degradation? But back to the character, interesting twist on making him a common wolf. I liked that. It gives him a chip on his shoulder that he has prove he's just as good. Also gives him even more incentive to win Delancy; no matter what.
Enfer:
Well now. This character seems to be the most loaded of all the characters. He's like all the characters from the wolf side of the story all rolled into one. So there are times when I hate the character while at other times I love him. I wish you could find a kinda median. Granted I've warmed up to him quite a bit. But, to me, no amount of another language is ever going to be as awesome as a Myron's drawl.

Story:
Wonderful concept and presentation. I love it! And in all the stories I've read here on AFF I feel this one still rings true as an original. Personally I love werewolves and vampires and the way you display them here (socially, governmentally, etc.) is wonderfully amazing. You've managed to throw in wonderful elements of the wolf into the werewolves (knots, pack feelings, etc.) and contrasted it well with the aged archaic knowledge of the vampires. When you first had her taken by the vampires I was surprised and thought, 'vampires too!?', but I'm better now.

Grammar and Story Mechanics:
Occasionally you have a few sentences that are... off. But other than that your command of English is perfect. Also your use of other languages and dialects of english don't direct too much attention from the story. Thing is good, as many people thrown too much of another language and it only serves to make the story hard to read. I'm happy to inform you that your story has none of this. :)

Overall and Rants:
Yet again, simply wonderful. I get on everyday to see If you have updated. And the days you do update are splendidly wonderful. So update sooner so that I may have good days more often! XD Oh, you made a comment in the last chapter about people not loving the vampires. I don't think it's that they don't like the vampires, it's that we all love Myron. The other reason could be that you may have overloaded Enfer with too much personality. I know how bad that sounds but I have no other way to explain it.

So I guess that's it. I hope you enjoyed it! XD You better have! Because I only write like 5 reviews in a year. I think this is like number 2-3. I don't really keep track lol. Well update soon! Also feel free to email me if you have questions or wish to contest something in this review. XD

I would say that you did a fantastic job of describing the vampires sences. It's a difficult job since it would be easier to "see" then to read them. I find the vampires for the most part cold and selfish. But only two were real easy to become close to.

But now that the werewolves have come into play, I'm sure all hell will break loose and a whole new personality will come to the serface for both our men and lovely lady.

Your not depressed, your doing wonderful.

I normally don't leave reviews or comments.
But that was beautiful and breath-taking.
I'm enjoying this story so much and I love how you have shown how she(Delancy)can be so much more than what she ever thought she could be.
Your Vampires are wonderfully well written and I love how you have Enfer wanting a taste of humanity.(even if he know's it will not last.)
And your WereWolves are absolutely glorious.
Keep up the great work.
BCM

Thank you! Keep it up!

that was BRILLIANT!!!...but i kinda hated the ending of this chapter though!

ahhhh noooo don't feel like that, I do feel enchanted, and I do enjoy the vampires sense of elegance, I just enjoyed the werewolves in your story much more. For an idea however, since your writing is very good, you should do an entire story about the vampires and have their own story line. I would really like to read it if it was designed with it's own plot, not saying that you didn't have one, I just really enjoyed the way you set out with the three wolves and I find it hard to get into everything else with those hotties distracting me :) Let me know what you think lol

Aww I loved the vampires. they're so spooky, yet not. I like it :)
Keep up the story, its awesome. no matter what direction you take it in.

that was magical you made took sex and forplay to a new level which not alot of writes can do i have only every read one other person (book or net) that could do what you did there it was great.
I loved the other side of the vampire you gave to us people never think about. It made me think damn can't we stay here! it lovly he would give her what she wants right? I still think the other vampires and a bunch of backstapping
*@#$ people can you keep him in the story i think it would give it a new level and i woould love to see how the werewolfs and vampire would get on. He has no reaso to give her up so why should he?
love you work