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May 14, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hi there, I just wanted to say that you may want to tell your readers about your new chapter! The way that you have it separated it made it look like there was no chapter 19 and it is so good, I would hate for anyone to miss it. On another site I am an avid review watcher on my stories, and I know how important it is, and it is a shame if people will miss the update. Good luck!!
schedule
May 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow, I knew there was something very special about her. No normal woman could withstand the kind of things that the Vampires and Werewolves put her throught.
I think you story has been fantastic, and if you do side stories on the other characters it will just make this story seem so much more interesting. It's kind of like reading Dune and getting interested in just Duncan, Jessica, or one of the other characters. Please keep writing, because I'm sure we are not even 1/2 way to the end of this story.
I think you story has been fantastic, and if you do side stories on the other characters it will just make this story seem so much more interesting. It's kind of like reading Dune and getting interested in just Duncan, Jessica, or one of the other characters. Please keep writing, because I'm sure we are not even 1/2 way to the end of this story.
schedule
May 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hi there, this was a great update, these last two chapters really put some great plot points into the story, and I can hardly wait to see how this all plays out. The story is phenomenal, and all I can say is at the end of the day your fans love your work. Please just continue to enjoy writing and in turn we will continue to read!
schedule
May 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Awesome chapter that was just so amazing
the comment you left at the bottom of the last chapter OMG what a complete total retard, hes got some majorly huge issues and hes jealous big time
the comment you left at the bottom of the last chapter OMG what a complete total retard, hes got some majorly huge issues and hes jealous big time
schedule
May 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I just read that idiots comment, go get a life stop trolling through stories and saying whats wrong with it, nothing takes away from it, if you enjoy it you won't find any mistakes because i certainly haven't
schedule
May 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
its gettin so good now! please continue! and if your story does get taken off of aff.net or something like that, please contact me, im a very loyal fan and i cant live without this story! i would be forever greatful! and besides....what the fuck?! this story is awesome! why would someone report it? crazy....anyways...please keep writin! i LOVE it! i like how ya kinda keep goin back to reveal orgins and stuff like that, but i really NEED to know what happens next! i think im gonna have a heartattack if these cliffhangers keep happenin! hehe, just playin! your doin great! dont let anyone tell ya otherwise! im on your side! ill kick there ass for ya! YEAH!
schedule
May 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Well.. I love this story.. i see how you have it at this moment. I think maybe you should produce 2 different endings. LIke one where she goes to the Vampires side and one that goes to the Werewolfs side. Or Produce one that could combine both the Vampires and Werewolfs with her still marrying Myron. (hehe hes my fav.) So. I just wanted to give suggestions! Thanks!
schedule
May 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I think I love you. This is one of the best original stories I've ever read. I can't wait to see what happens next!!
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May 12, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Here's my review for your story.
(In regards to the review you left me; It had absolutely nothing to do with the quality, or lack thereof of your "novel." It had everything to do with simply putting your story at the top of the page for the sake of it being at the top.)
I've read through most of your chapters, and what stands out the most is your "I'm an English Major and I'm just doing this for fun." which was why there were so many grammatical and spelling errors in it. If this is so, then I would imagine not only for your reviewers' sake, but for that of the quality of your work, you'd at least comb through it, or have someone beta the story for you for the strict purpose of picking up all those "little" problems. It takes away from the story, to the point where it gets rather annoying when you read another, "purpose" misspelled as "purpuse."
The story itself has great potential, which I'm sure most of your reviewers are happy to champion. Though having two chapters in one post may end up working against you. Why not join said two "entries" and make them into one chapter, with simple scenery changes when they are needed? Not only would it allow for the story to flow with much more ease, but it would make your consolidation far easier.
Next is your hero's accent. NO PROBLEM with the accent when it's in dialogue, but, even if he's from Luisiana, his accent would only be apparent in his speech, not his thoughts. You switch from your heroine's point of view to your hero's quite often, because of this, you need to emphasize the difference in dialogue more often, than the way he says, "My" in his mind. I know people from Luisiana, they sound like they're sayin, "Ma mothe'" but if you ask them to write it out, (Especially if your hero is as rich and educated as you make him out to be) he'd write it out as, "My mother."
Your character has the accent, not you, is what I'm trying to say. If you're an English major, you should know that while major allowances are made for dialogue, such is not the case for the breadth of the story.
The sexual content is outright and aggressive, which I'm sure it was what you were after. It works well with the primitive instics of your hero, and your heroine's acceptance of his ways. Though I find the words you use to describe their genitelia rather dated and well, repeatitive. Again, saying "Pussy" in dialogue, especially if that's your characters' nature is perfectly acceptable, but when you're using it to describe, it makes it rather, well, cheap porno, rather than sexy erotica.
Reviews don't make your story, you make the story. Although it's great to have people here champion it, I assure you, that there are stories with far less hits, with even less reviews, that are twice the story yours is, simply because they do take the time to consider spelling, and grammar. You may be doing this for fun, but it's still posting something on the internet for OTHERS to read. I would assume it would be a small consideration if you would take the time to correct those errors, rather than just covering them with an, "I know there's tons of spelling errors, but I'm lazy."
Adara Giovanni
(In regards to the review you left me; It had absolutely nothing to do with the quality, or lack thereof of your "novel." It had everything to do with simply putting your story at the top of the page for the sake of it being at the top.)
I've read through most of your chapters, and what stands out the most is your "I'm an English Major and I'm just doing this for fun." which was why there were so many grammatical and spelling errors in it. If this is so, then I would imagine not only for your reviewers' sake, but for that of the quality of your work, you'd at least comb through it, or have someone beta the story for you for the strict purpose of picking up all those "little" problems. It takes away from the story, to the point where it gets rather annoying when you read another, "purpose" misspelled as "purpuse."
The story itself has great potential, which I'm sure most of your reviewers are happy to champion. Though having two chapters in one post may end up working against you. Why not join said two "entries" and make them into one chapter, with simple scenery changes when they are needed? Not only would it allow for the story to flow with much more ease, but it would make your consolidation far easier.
Next is your hero's accent. NO PROBLEM with the accent when it's in dialogue, but, even if he's from Luisiana, his accent would only be apparent in his speech, not his thoughts. You switch from your heroine's point of view to your hero's quite often, because of this, you need to emphasize the difference in dialogue more often, than the way he says, "My" in his mind. I know people from Luisiana, they sound like they're sayin, "Ma mothe'" but if you ask them to write it out, (Especially if your hero is as rich and educated as you make him out to be) he'd write it out as, "My mother."
Your character has the accent, not you, is what I'm trying to say. If you're an English major, you should know that while major allowances are made for dialogue, such is not the case for the breadth of the story.
The sexual content is outright and aggressive, which I'm sure it was what you were after. It works well with the primitive instics of your hero, and your heroine's acceptance of his ways. Though I find the words you use to describe their genitelia rather dated and well, repeatitive. Again, saying "Pussy" in dialogue, especially if that's your characters' nature is perfectly acceptable, but when you're using it to describe, it makes it rather, well, cheap porno, rather than sexy erotica.
Reviews don't make your story, you make the story. Although it's great to have people here champion it, I assure you, that there are stories with far less hits, with even less reviews, that are twice the story yours is, simply because they do take the time to consider spelling, and grammar. You may be doing this for fun, but it's still posting something on the internet for OTHERS to read. I would assume it would be a small consideration if you would take the time to correct those errors, rather than just covering them with an, "I know there's tons of spelling errors, but I'm lazy."
Adara Giovanni
schedule
May 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
the discriptiond of the goddesses made me think of the dolls in Barbarella. those things creeped me out. I like the the moon goddesses' hair.