schedule
May 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
gets better every chapter ^_^
schedule
May 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like your story, it's skillful and has amazing description, but you made your MC a wicked Mary-Sue. Come on? EVERYONE wants her? A little unlikely, because I've yet to meet anyone without any flaws. . . Don't get me wrong, it's an amazing fic, the best shameless self insirted story out there.
schedule
May 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ok. I'm behind on my reviews here, so here we go for catching up.
Chapter 18 and 19: You did a good job at visually describing the two Goddesses. The appearances of them gave me the shivers. They certainly are not something I would want to have in my head or my dreams. I kind of wondered if they were related somehow, but twin sisters? Twin sister that hated eachother to a certain extent, no less. That they would plot together to save their 'people' was the one thing that really didn't surprise me.
The Werewolves and Vampires being related and pretty much equals is a good addition. The brief history that the Goddesses gave was brief, but good enough. The Wolf Goddess taking over the were-female's body in order to produce Myron as a direct descendant of her's was interesting.
I found Raphael's orgins a bit more interesting. I hope I have this straight. The Blood Goddess gave 'birth' to a male Vampire known as the first. He married a Fey and one of their male children is Raphael's father. Then that Fey took a human lover and gave birth to Delancy's mother. I wasn't too thrilled that she was part Fey, though. I thought it took away something that would make her special as a human, but it is still alright with the story line.
Chapter 20: I loved the moment of shock from Warren and Enfer, but I'm glad they believed her. Raphel's father concocting lies to explain the werewolf children being born was dispicable, but also predictable for a King that hasn't a clue as to what is going on. Seems the vampires had the same problem as humans. Fearing what they didn't understand and trying to dominate the object of their fear. The only thing is, I'm trying to figure out where Enfer fits into the family line here.
Not really sure about the significance of the outfits, but I would have to say that Delancy, Enfer, and Myron definitely sounded very sexy. Wow, to be caught between two men like that would be thrilling.
Anyways, that's all for now. RL is demanding that I pay it some attention again. I'll review more later.
Raven
Chapter 18 and 19: You did a good job at visually describing the two Goddesses. The appearances of them gave me the shivers. They certainly are not something I would want to have in my head or my dreams. I kind of wondered if they were related somehow, but twin sisters? Twin sister that hated eachother to a certain extent, no less. That they would plot together to save their 'people' was the one thing that really didn't surprise me.
The Werewolves and Vampires being related and pretty much equals is a good addition. The brief history that the Goddesses gave was brief, but good enough. The Wolf Goddess taking over the were-female's body in order to produce Myron as a direct descendant of her's was interesting.
I found Raphael's orgins a bit more interesting. I hope I have this straight. The Blood Goddess gave 'birth' to a male Vampire known as the first. He married a Fey and one of their male children is Raphael's father. Then that Fey took a human lover and gave birth to Delancy's mother. I wasn't too thrilled that she was part Fey, though. I thought it took away something that would make her special as a human, but it is still alright with the story line.
Chapter 20: I loved the moment of shock from Warren and Enfer, but I'm glad they believed her. Raphel's father concocting lies to explain the werewolf children being born was dispicable, but also predictable for a King that hasn't a clue as to what is going on. Seems the vampires had the same problem as humans. Fearing what they didn't understand and trying to dominate the object of their fear. The only thing is, I'm trying to figure out where Enfer fits into the family line here.
Not really sure about the significance of the outfits, but I would have to say that Delancy, Enfer, and Myron definitely sounded very sexy. Wow, to be caught between two men like that would be thrilling.
Anyways, that's all for now. RL is demanding that I pay it some attention again. I'll review more later.
Raven
schedule
May 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
*jumps up and down happily* a new chapter a new chapter hooray.
Hehehe.
I love these chapters that just give hints to what to come. It give you somthing to soooooo look forward to in future chapters.
Keep it up and let us know when a new story hits the site.
Hehehe.
I love these chapters that just give hints to what to come. It give you somthing to soooooo look forward to in future chapters.
Keep it up and let us know when a new story hits the site.
schedule
May 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ooh! Finally, another chappie! Story is going well,but I hate how you are still keeping the readers in the dark about a lot of things,plz don't keep us hanging for too long! *fidgets*
And THANKKKKKKKSSSSSSSS for your tips! *hugs*
And THANKKKKKKKSSSSSSSS for your tips! *hugs*
schedule
May 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hello, dear.
I have a few comments for you. Your story, as I see it, was exemplary. I love the conflicts between the characters, and I especially adore that you showed each of their sensitive and sweet sides, except Fallon. I really didn't like him, which is good in itself, because for any story to be excellent, you need an asshole in the story. This story is the kind I enjoy reading when I enter this site. Plotless smut is good on occasion, but I really enjoy a story where I cannot wait for the updates. I believe you could continue this story for another fifty chapters and your readers would still hunger for more. Bravo on a well-written piece of literature!
Secondly, I have some comments regarding one of your reviews. I know you had a particulary nasty bit of a review from one of the readers, but I would like to comment on some of the points they made.
For one, I did not notice that many grammatical or spelling mistakes. The ones there were, were not that important anyway. I thought the writing was actually very good.
Next, is Myron's accent. I absolutely ADORE his accent. I disagree with the reviewer that stated his accent should not be present in his thoughts. I believe it should, because people tend to think the way they talk. The only circumstance his accent would not be present is when he was writing something. So, I wouldn't change that at all. I love his accent the way it is.
I love the sexual aggressiveness of your story. It shows your characters rather nicely, as I believe that is their nature, yes? I don't believe calling a pussy a pussy is evidence of cheap porno. There are only so many creative euphemisms for one body part. Sometimes stating exactly what you mean is far better than being so worried about the distinction between "cheap porno" and "sexy erotica" because it eliminates the possibility of readers not knowing exactly what you're talking about! LOL! Variation in the description of said body parts is always nice, but I don't believe there is a right or wrong thing to call it.
Lastly, I believe your story is one of the best I've ever read. I do believe the reviews show the quality of the story. If people didn't like it, they wouldn't take the time to review. As for other stories being twice as good as yours because of the time spent on grammar and spelling, it's bullshit. The story is about the content, not the grammar and spelling.
In conclusion, your story is EXCELLENT, EXEMPLARY, and altogether AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!
I believe if you ever decided to publish this as a book, I would buy it in a heartbeat. I really think you should consider the possibility.
Absolutely lovely story, so please continue.
Saraiyu
I have a few comments for you. Your story, as I see it, was exemplary. I love the conflicts between the characters, and I especially adore that you showed each of their sensitive and sweet sides, except Fallon. I really didn't like him, which is good in itself, because for any story to be excellent, you need an asshole in the story. This story is the kind I enjoy reading when I enter this site. Plotless smut is good on occasion, but I really enjoy a story where I cannot wait for the updates. I believe you could continue this story for another fifty chapters and your readers would still hunger for more. Bravo on a well-written piece of literature!
Secondly, I have some comments regarding one of your reviews. I know you had a particulary nasty bit of a review from one of the readers, but I would like to comment on some of the points they made.
For one, I did not notice that many grammatical or spelling mistakes. The ones there were, were not that important anyway. I thought the writing was actually very good.
Next, is Myron's accent. I absolutely ADORE his accent. I disagree with the reviewer that stated his accent should not be present in his thoughts. I believe it should, because people tend to think the way they talk. The only circumstance his accent would not be present is when he was writing something. So, I wouldn't change that at all. I love his accent the way it is.
I love the sexual aggressiveness of your story. It shows your characters rather nicely, as I believe that is their nature, yes? I don't believe calling a pussy a pussy is evidence of cheap porno. There are only so many creative euphemisms for one body part. Sometimes stating exactly what you mean is far better than being so worried about the distinction between "cheap porno" and "sexy erotica" because it eliminates the possibility of readers not knowing exactly what you're talking about! LOL! Variation in the description of said body parts is always nice, but I don't believe there is a right or wrong thing to call it.
Lastly, I believe your story is one of the best I've ever read. I do believe the reviews show the quality of the story. If people didn't like it, they wouldn't take the time to review. As for other stories being twice as good as yours because of the time spent on grammar and spelling, it's bullshit. The story is about the content, not the grammar and spelling.
In conclusion, your story is EXCELLENT, EXEMPLARY, and altogether AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!
I believe if you ever decided to publish this as a book, I would buy it in a heartbeat. I really think you should consider the possibility.
Absolutely lovely story, so please continue.
Saraiyu
schedule
May 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Awesome =) You have the most fantastic imagination, it's terrific. Too bad about all the guards though. =( And BAD ERIC. >=O NOT COOL. Can't wait for the next update to see what's gonna happen!!!
And as a side note..um..when will the smut return? >.>
-F
And as a side note..um..when will the smut return? >.>
-F
schedule
May 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I just wanted you to know even though i have never reviwed for story i have read it from the first time you posted it. at first i was a bit like maybe it could be good, now i see it coming to together and its more then good this is novel material. I have loved every minute of it. keep up the amazing work..
schedule
May 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
An amazing update. Yes, I totally understand what you are going through. Thank you for thanking me :-) Keep writing, great action, I love that you are not rushing this.
schedule
May 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Your descriptions get more powerful every chapter its all finally coming together and its so totally awesome.
If this story ends up long enough to be able to sell you really should send it to a publisher if they come here and see how popular its been then i think that some publisher would love to publish this book, you could even sell a double book with Enfer's story included with this one
If this story ends up long enough to be able to sell you really should send it to a publisher if they come here and see how popular its been then i think that some publisher would love to publish this book, you could even sell a double book with Enfer's story included with this one