schedule
April 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
this story definitely has potential, please take the time to reread yourself. i like the subtelty of the characters and the literature mixed in with the sex -- keep it up!
schedule
March 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Interesting start, I'm eager to read more. Update soon.
schedule
March 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
She (which generally refers to someone completely other than yourself) should not be in the same sentence with I and my and me, especially when you're only talking about one person. It made me cringe to read. Seriously, learn to edit or get a Beta or something.
schedule
March 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Interesting topic. Watch your form, and it will be a gorgeous story. Better if you decide: "Me" form or "her" form. Both together is a little confusing.