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February 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well, Tar is going out on a date with one of her brother's employees...that will be interesting when her brother finds out. I can't wait to see what you have in store for Tar. Please update soon.
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February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Great start...I figured that come the implication of incest (which step anything I wouldn't consider incest as long as they are not blood related. I find dating or marrying cousins incest...now that is wrong.) that the pairing is with her step brother Dante. I hate the way he calls her piglet...I wish she would just go off on him. It would be nice to read why he does that to her. What ever his deal...this is a great story and I hope you don't keep us waiting for another update.
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February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I like it :) Nice start! =)
Tar sounds cute and friendly. I wonder why her bro dislikes her. :(
I want to read more. :p
Tar sounds cute and friendly. I wonder why her bro dislikes her. :(
I want to read more. :p
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February 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I noticed the way you formatted the dialogue was much better this time. Thanks!
So it looks Lydon is going to go after Taree against Dante's warning? That's sooooo going to cause some problems at work. I think it's interesting that Sheila says that Dante is fond of Taree. Maybe he is only a total jerk to Taree when Taree's around because none of his behaviour towards Taree so far has been nice at all. Lydon seems nice but I'm not sure what to think of him yet...I really like Taree so I hope he is a good guy.
Thanks for the long chapters too :D I hope you update soon; I want to see where their date is going to be and how Dante is going to react when he finds out ;)
So it looks Lydon is going to go after Taree against Dante's warning? That's sooooo going to cause some problems at work. I think it's interesting that Sheila says that Dante is fond of Taree. Maybe he is only a total jerk to Taree when Taree's around because none of his behaviour towards Taree so far has been nice at all. Lydon seems nice but I'm not sure what to think of him yet...I really like Taree so I hope he is a good guy.
Thanks for the long chapters too :D I hope you update soon; I want to see where their date is going to be and how Dante is going to react when he finds out ;)
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February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Kudos....
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February 18, 2008 at 12:00 AM
The characters you have created are very realistic.
Not only that, but your writing skills are superb and I could not ask for more.
It is hard for me to find a story I like and you sure have hooked me with this piece.
I really like how this story is going and am looking forward to more.
Do update soon! :)
Not only that, but your writing skills are superb and I could not ask for more.
It is hard for me to find a story I like and you sure have hooked me with this piece.
I really like how this story is going and am looking forward to more.
Do update soon! :)
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February 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
great start, makes me wonder about the pairing, you mentioned incest, her and the stepbrother would be nice, i love family conflicts, please continue
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February 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Good start. I like Taree as a character and it's cool that she seems normal and actually worked to overcome weight problems in the past which makes her low self-esteem make sense instead of the usual perfect looking girl who just thinks that she's ugly. Dante is an ass and seems a bit too interested in her personal life for a guy who claims to hate her.
The story would be easier to read if you started a new line for dialogue as it is hard to tell who is talking when it's all smushed up in a paragraph. Please continue soon.
The story would be easier to read if you started a new line for dialogue as it is hard to tell who is talking when it's all smushed up in a paragraph. Please continue soon.