rate_review Reviews

Wow. Erm...yeah...*stabs Brethmal* (or however the hell ya spell it; screen reader = phenetic spelling.) I can't believe he slashed her! I mean, WTF! And all over a dagger? Damn.

Hope ya update soon. This just keeps getting more interesting with every chapter. Feel better too.

Luinil

Time for reviewing!
*Entering Review mode*

I really thought that chapter with Leon was good. It definately showed a side to him that was a bit unexpected from what people might have percieved. Which is good! It's important to always hide little bits of info like that, just to keep things fresh.

Shuey's encounter with her father, take 2. More tense moments, and it seems he's branded her with his rageful mark. At least now we know where Shuey get's her temper from. It's also nice to know that even injured, Shuey shall have the energy to stick Dare into the shoulders of Jerrik when he pisses her off. Does she perfer to strike the shoulder when it comes to Jerrik? He always seems to get it somewhere in the arms...

Leon and Jerrik's 'relationship' if one could arguably call it such, is a touching one indeed, and it shows the bond of brothers well, even if one doesn't believe they are related at all. I suppose they must share some common element in the past that they can find some kind of bond within it. Regardless, Jerrik's attraction to Shuey is now becoming more and more...
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.......
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...Damn! I can't think of the word right now. Oh well, whatever. Anyway, I definately predict more arm stabbing goodness to come in the later chapters.

Keep up the good work!

Snidne, out!

Oo, I really liked these last two chapters. *picks up phone and dials New York Times* "Yes, I'd like to report that the bartender, commonly known as Angel working at Jerrick Cordan's bar has...ah...how do you say it...friends. Yes, seven o'c news? Thank you." *click*

This chapter was good; I liked it, especially the interactions between Shuey and her father. Those always have me leaning forward, waiting for the day when he finally rips her hair away from her eye and freaks! *prepares straight jacket and PRN*

Hope you post soon.
Luinil

Shuey has friends!? Mayday! Mayday! It's a sign of the end! We're all gonna die!!!!


Ok, all jokes aside, these were some very good chapters. Shuey meeting her father... that was tension moment there. I half expected her to unleash Dare on him just for looking too closely. After all, Shuey seems to possess EPSI: Extreme Personal Space Issues.

The change of pace with Shuey and her so-called 'friends' was a nice way to show her in a new light. Still a bit naive, but that's just who she is. Maybe she's soon see Jerrik and Leon as 'friends'. If she can ever get over the base impluse to stab them first however.

And as you may have noticed, I review ever other chapter. That's just so I have alot more to talk about!

Snidne, out!

Hey, nice job. Things seem to be picking up a bit quicker now. Her father is suspiceous and she and Jerrick actually had a conversation in which Dare wasn't draw, screaming for blood. I hope you update soon, because now I am truly becoming excited as to see where this may be going next.
Luinil

OOHH..Intrigue. So she gets to meet big old daddy and he was curious about her, I wonder if that means daddy is going to start visiting the bar more often. By the way you never mentioned why he was visiting the bar and if he just came in for a drink why they would know that he was coming.

You write a goodly long bit of writing. I give you that. Curiosity? That is your penname? Yes. Well. Curiosity, I find your work curious. I think in the good way.

I don't really like the idea of it turning into a threesome, I just don't really see Shuey with Leon, (that little angel annoys me for some reason). So yeah just thought I would say that and I can't wait for the next chappy.

Glad you thought my last review was good, I was aiming for that. And now, the next review.

Glad to see Shuey learning how to fly and defend herself. The flying scene was great by the way. She was aiming for one bastard, but hit the other bastard instead. I guess it was still a win/win situation for her either way, seeing as she couldn't stand either one. I guess that could classify her as an 'Angel of Death' considering how violent she gets around those two. Flying powers + Dare = rage from above.

As for the threesome bit, yeah, that was just my own perverted thoughts on the matter, I wasn't suggesting or even guessing at what would happen. So, end discussion there.

It's good to see Shuey in fear, and Jerrik changing a bit about how he sees her. Which is saying something considering that he only saw her a something to fuel his curious nature in the beginning. No Leon in that last chapter, but I suppose it was neccessary. No need to question why.

And now, because you set yourself up for this to happen in chapter 9, I will calculate just how much Shuey trusts Jerrik based on how far she can throw him!

Factoring difference in height...
Factoring age difference...
Factoring weight difference...
Adding Shuey's defensiveness...
Adding Jerrik's ego...
Calculating maximum force capabalities...
Setting angle...
Complete! Shuey can throw Jerrik 0.0000000000 (hundreds of '0's' later....) 00000000001 meters
True Equation: Shuey's trust < Distance Shuey can throw Jerrik
Calculating... Calculating...
Error... Error... Value does not exist in the set of real numbers... Error
Attempting to locate solution in imaginary number set...
System error... Ctrl Alt Delete.... Pie is good...
System overload... System overload... System shutdown...

...well, there you have it. Shuey's level of trust broke my computer... so while I go get this fixed, keep up the writing.

Snidne, out!

Hmmm... Leon's an ass. Jerrick is slightly less of an ass. Shuey kicks their ass.

Ah, poetry. ^_^

Still loving this story, and again, excellent work on rounding out Shuey, especially now that she's having to learn to be just a little bit wrong and only slightly grateful. Threesomes aren't my thing, but hey, whatever makes the story flow, right?

If you need a beta, just email me: gaiaforests@hotmail.com. I'm a Creative Writing Major, spelling bee champ, and I love paranormal/unusual stories.