rate_review Reviews

a word of encourgment .... you dont have to be perfect at the sex senes or even good as long as you put good action in the story that way the action balences it out. This story is great so far. :)

Aw.that was the most cute/sexy/hot love scene I could ever imagine...between an antisocial halfling and a perverted demon, that is! ;-P They totally stayed in character and it wasn't weird after. Just perfect! ^_^

I really like your outside-of-the-box characteristics for demons and angels. It's fun to see someone writing about this in a creative new way.

For me at least, your characterization of Shuey is right on. Her emotional transitions are realistic and interesting. She's a likeable character in a strange and distant way.

Her father is still an enigma at this point. He threatens to kill her, yet he acts like he cares who she mates with. His given reason is that she is mating beneath herself (or himself). This is strange if she's truly slated to die, making me think that he might not be completely serious about that. Then again, like Shuey, he hasn't seemed to lie yet....

You've definitely got me hooked.
The only real suggestion I can make is fleshing out the minor characters if you ever do a rewrite. Shuey hs reasons to be a little inhuman (and I guess the rest do, too) but you know what I mean; they could be a little more 3-D. Definitely not a major thing.

Keep writing and good luck!

Everyone gets a present for Jerrick's birthday! :D (Though I get the feeling daddy isn't going to be too happy about it when he finds out!)

PS: Good choice in music
PPS: Yep, skirts and dresses = completely impractical. Have to sit carefully, be careful in high winds, avoid climbing ladders, etc etc... (that and the fact I just don't have the legs for it ;)

DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU AND YOUR IMPRE- wait a minute... didn't I write a review like this once already? *Goes back to check his last reviews* Opps... yeah I did! My bad. ^_^ Let me try again.


*Ahem!* The birthday shopping... that was a very good change of pace with Shuey's uncomfortableness. Yeah I would assume that dresses and Shuey don't mix, like Oil and Water (Incubus pun intended). ANYONE could assume that. And Leon getting Shuey to sneak around and sabotage Jerrik's alarm clock... Your lucky we don't procescute you for that. Seriously, what did that alarm clock do to you!?

Then came the party... Shuey is jealous!? That just SCREAMS future Dare stabbing. And thank you, for once again helpping to redefine the phrase 'Raiding my wardrobe'. We appluade your efforts.

Then came the sex...


...fucking great. As a fellow erotic author, there are many things I can relate to. And apparently besides having at least 2 dozen different story ideas firing randomly through my head, something I'm rather good at is writing sex scenes. I can spot quality sex scenes and yours was especially well, considering that it was Shuey's first time.

And to dispel any myths about it, one does NOT need much or perhaps ANY sexual experience to write a quality sex scene. You just need a creative (perverted) mind. And mine is quite the combo. So if you ever feel the need that you think a tune-up is required then I can help you if you'd like. Which is probably the only reason I'm including my e-mail in this review...

And now for a more casual change of pace... it would seem we have a similar concept with music. For some reason I can conscentrate better when listening to music. even our taste in it was relatively similar... it's kind of scary really... Down with rap! Up with Rock! A7X FOR THE WIN!!! *catches breath* sorry about that... got carried away. XP

And now, straight from headquarters is... *pulls down a random curtain* Behold! The life-sized Angel/Demon Hybrid, Shuey replica! *Holds up an 'Audience gasps!' sign* Now you too can have your very own LIFE-SIZED Shuey Hybrid. The model comes with a 1:1 scale replica of Dare, with retractable Demon/Angel wings and a special mist feature! And with the added chapters, she also comes with a minor dress-up option! Addtional clothing not with the package. And an all new 50% death rate, our lowest death rate ever! Buy it now!...perverts...

And, already in the development stages and coming soon, our Life-Sized Jerrik and Leon replicas! Now, you too can recreate your favorite 'The Fine Line of Heaven and Hell' scene. How about when Shuey and Jerrik first meet? Or when Leon gets stabbed the first time? Second? Fifth? Or how about that passionate love-making session you JUST READ! The possiblities are ENDLESS! Please note that the inclusion of either products in conjunction with the 'Shuey' model can and most likely WILL increate the percentage death rate... or not! We make no promises!...perverts...

Till next time, this is Snidne, signing out!

I insulted you lol, sos mate didn’t mean to upset you. I will have to work on my bluntness, sos again. And you intrigue me with comments on your future story’s , something for me to look forward to. Oh and by the by, shuey is one of the best female characters I have come across. She is so complex it’s brilliant, not a Mary sue, so she wins brownie points in my book. Sos again for upsetting you.
yes, I may be kissing your ass so you keep writing.

Again, another wonderful chapter! I really didn't expect a birthday for Jerrick, but now that I think about it, it'll be a good experience for Shuey, since she's missed out one so much in her life. And I can only imagine the fun to be had in the next few chapters...sexy dress + sexy undies = fun! ;-) (P.S. Am I the only Anon in your reviews? I'd thank you, but actually "anon" means "anonymous", when a reviewer doesn't enter a name! I just bypass it because I can't think up a good one! lol) :-D

Erk, dresses. I know how she feels. Meanwhile, why do I get the feeling that Jerrick's birthday present is going to involve a litle *boom chika wow-wow* (wink, wink, nudge, nudge ;)

dude, the relationship if anything is moving too slow, yeah, she is a character that would want to take her time with these...intimate situations but it is the 24 chapter and to me she still doesn't seem to be into the guy (ps: he has infinite patience, he really is a nice demon)
oh, and i really like your story,...no, i mean it it's really good and better then most that I've read so far. so keep on keeping on.

Wow, that was hot! :P You've got great pacing in this story, considering the characters you're dealing with. This seems totally natural, how Jerrick can be patient while Shuey's still getting use to the fact she has a "mate". Can't wait for the next chapter! :D