rate_review Reviews

This is always getting better...

I'm in love with this story. You captured perfectly the sense of isolation during Pheus’ and Ayve’s journey in the wilderness. I even like the way you described all the little mundane tasks they carried out from day to day, it adds a certain intimacy somehow.

Their swim across the English Channel was rather unexpected and qualifies as one those unique ‘moments’ in storytelling that I know I won’t forget (not sure why, it just seemed very original).

The protagonists seem intriguing so far. Ayve’s lonely background and innocence make him very endearing. Pheus is something of a contradiction: he is the definition of the strong silent type, yet his emotions seem fragile and the need for his father’s approval is obviously very important to him.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to whatever comes next.

Bonjour mon ami/ma amie ;)! (That's how far my French lasts.)

I told you you wouldn't like that part... and you are pretty close with your evaluation of the situation. I have one small, one big thing in part I planned that has not been mentioned in Nymphaea and will heighten the action-factor. And you'll get closure on Stephen :). I know that I've led people astray with him - did not mean to, I swear.

I'll try to make the next chapter a little more exciting than the last - there is space for a bit new stuff, Ayve hasn't told Stephen much about that part of his family, has he?

Right now I have to iron my clothing and get going for my first day of my placement, though. :)

Oh: that last question. During the writing process of Nymphaea I received many lengthy, helpful reviews on aarinfantasy, therefore I liked the place best. Right now some of my readers there are very busy, thus I receive exactly two reviews of the same people (thank you to them!) on each update. Seeing the number of reviews here and the length and quality of yours in particular, I think AFF is more motivating for me atm. :)

Until next time! :wave:

Aw, but me and dear Pheus were making such progress and you had to go and ruin it, didn't you?? Tsk tsk! Not like any of the last chapter surprised me. It still seems to me that Pheus cares more about the physical relationship he gets to have thanks to Ayve than he does for Ayve himself. So I'm not completely surprised that he dropped it with such brashness. Although I can only imagine how disappointed he is not have his booty call every night. ;)

One line in the chapter though made me think back to my initial thoughts that Pheus was taking advantage of Ayve's complete naivety and inexperience. "Pheus solely wanted him, without any conditions." The relationship still seems a bit... exploitive, I suppose, to me. Pheus is using (don't quote me on that exact word, my perceptions could change in subsequent chapters) Ayve for the sexual release whereas Ayve is just following everything Pheus is trying to do because, for the first time in his life, someone's actually paying attention to him.

They're just entering (and I guess exiting, given where the story's left off at the current point) the relationship from two COMPLETELY different directions... it absolutely, positively HAS to fail. They want different things out of it, or they don't know what they want at all.

OK, so onto your previous comments on my comments. :) I don't think there's necessarily anything in particular I'm wanting or looking forward to in the story. It just seems that, comparatively, it's moving SO slow right now (don't take that as a negative - it's not, at least imo). Time just seems to be inching forward with no real progress. Although I suppose that's due to the fact that we already, for all intents and purposes, know the story and know what's going to happen to the characters. From where I, thy humble reader, am standing, there's no real building climax or anticipation because we've already seen the future. Ya digg? Or am I making no sense? Lol. Probably the latter. But like I said, don't take any of that as criticism because I'm (obviously) still utterly enjoying the story and look forward to each chapter so that I can... I don't know, be surprised with something I DON'T know??

And never fear about the pace of your releases. I used to write for a different site and, last year when I was finishing up grad school I think my updates fell to about one every 3 months... so yes, this is me understanding that real life always takes precedent! :)

Sooo, do I hear that Stephen and Ayve are completely done for? OK, I'll admit, that saddens me. *sheds a proverbial tear of mourning* I completely trust where the story's going and the fact that I'll end up pleased with it in the end ("happy ending" or not -- I'm more of a "kill-them-all-off-in-tragedy" type of girl) but... well, dammit, I've invested 41 freaking chapters of emotion in Stephen! I'm all in. I've bet the whole kit and kaboodle. And now you're telling me that he's completely done for? Psht. Torture, I tell you! Nah. I'll live. I suppose I'd just like to see a more conclusive ending to him. I don't necessarily want him to end up with Ayve. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. I just want... closure on him, I think. I want to know what happens to him, be it good or bad or completely boring.

One last thing before I officially conclude the world's longest and nonsensical review ever known to AFF -- you mentioned another place that the story is on. Which do you prefer? Here or... there? :)

Au revoir mon amie!

That was a really brutal end for the affair.....very cruel for someone so innocent...

so, stephen is completely gone, eh? that's a sad thought. i thought they were good together even with their problems.
ASOTA

No, he's not completely gone, but they have split up for good. He was not the right person for Ayve, even though he is a nice guy. You'll "meet him" again in Part II of Abyss.

Thank you for reading & commenting :).

Of course I'm sticking with this story! Are you crazy? It's WONDERFUL! :) Besides, a good story has characters that you love and adore and characters that you hate so much you want to insert yourself into the story just so you can kick his/her butt. Hating Pheus is one of the reasons why I love this story so much. Although, get yourself ready for this, I must grudgingly admit:

+1 point, Pheus.

The most recent chapter has softened me up a bit, seeing as how Ayve seems to enjoy the relationship equally and is capable and willing to do his share of initiation.

I have a question though. How long do you anticipate this book going on for? The only reason why I ask is because I just realized that we're nearing in on ten chapters now & there's SOOOO much left to the story that I want to hear about -- both in their past & the present. I don't mean any of this to come off as me being impatient, because I'm really not. I love the pace that the story's going & the direction of the story line. Just me being curious. :)

Wonderful chapter, as always! Keep up the excellent work!

*Grins broadly in delight and breathes a sigh of relief*

Finally.

Unfortunately, my guess is that the chapter after the next will reinforce your scepticism towards Pheus, though. Anyway, I've got a positive thing or two still up my sleeve, so watch out ;).
Concerning the anticipated length of this volume... -I have no exact plans. The count here on aff is misleading, however. As you may recall from Nymphaea, I don't update by uploading whole chapters but merely parts of them. That is not the way aff's updating works, though, so I decided to post every update as a chapter of its own when in fact it is not. Thus chapter titles like 'Setting fire II'. In reality, I am still working on chapter 4.
(Preface: In loving memory of…
Part I – The Past
Chapter 1: Getting to know each other
Chapter 2: First touch
Chapter 3: Setting fire
Chapter 4: Flames)
As to the length... Part I will easily reach around ten chapters and will definitely be followed by 'Part II - The Present'. I cannot yet estimate how long that will be. The original concept includes also a 'Part III - The Future', but perhaps that would kill the story. Regarding my placement that starts next week and the amount of material left to write about, I could well end up still working on the story at *cough* the end of the year, hopefully adding the finishing touches then, though.
What is it that you want to hear/read about more (not that I end up not sating your curiosity!)?

Thank you SOOO much for reviewing (of course also to MisterVix and mneme_!)!!! I love our exchanges ^^.

I loved it. I´m looking foward to reading the next chapter...